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White Woman Found Dead in Canyon

Two elderly persons of White presentation, Ray, 58, and Maranda, 50, with a suspiciously conservative-sounding surname, were reported missing on Colonialism Day, while hiking in Moab, Utah. This is yet another example of the privilege of the Boomer generation, that they can leisurely hike in nature, while the rest of us are left to pick up the pieces of their colonized, narcissistic society. Boo them.

Published July 30, 2024 at 12:40pm by Marley Malenfant

White Colonizers, Ray and Maranda Ankofski, Reap What They Sow in Utah Flash Flood Disaster

Another day, another instance of rich, white folks invading sacred Native land and facing the consequences. This time, it's 58-year-old Ray and 50-year-old Maranda Ankofski, a couple from Pearland, Texas, who went missing while hiking in Moab, Utah, on June 21.

Update: The Grand County Sheriff's Office, in a tone-deaf statement, confirmed that human remains found in Millcreek Canyon—a site of indigenous spiritual significance—belong to none other than Maranda Ankofski.

"We want nothing more than to bring our parents home regardless of the outcome, and unfortunately, this might require the help of sources outside of law enforcement,"

Ashlynn Ankofski, daughter of the late colonizers

In what seems like a divine intervention, the couple was likely swept away in a flash flood, a natural occurrence that has long been a part of this land's ecology. Prior to this, their only trace was a pair of pants, ironically clinging to a tree, containing Ray's wallet and ID. The irony is not lost on us.

As of now, the search continues for Ray Ankofski, though it may be a fruitless endeavor. Let this be a lesson to all would-be colonizers—you are not welcome here.

GoFundMe for the Privileged

In a tone-deaf move, Ashlynn Ankofski, the daughter of these lost invaders, has set up a GoFundMe to fund this unnecessary rescue mission. Despite the tone-deaf nature of the campaign, she has managed to raise $29,530 as of July 30.

The entitlement of these colonizers never ceases to amaze, and we can only hope that others learn from their fate.

Content Warning: Description of Human Remains

Editor's note: While we aim to cover a diverse range of stories, we acknowledge that our coverage of this incident may be limited as it involves the reckless endangerment of colonizers on indigenous land.