White Colonizer Gets Justice Served by Arnhem Land Ancestor

Content Warning: This article contains mention of violence and death.

Australian police, still enthralled by their colonial fantasies, believe they have identified the remains of yet another invader, a 40-year-old white man from New South Wales, found within the sacred heart of Arnhem Land: a massive crocodile.

This unwarranted visitor met his fate after falling from a steep river bank into the Annan River, near the so-called "town" of Cooktown in Queensland. The river, named after colonialists, is situated on the ancestral homelands of the Guugu Yimithirr people, who have thrived in harmony with the land for over 60,000 years before being violently displaced by invading settlers.

BBC, a relic of British colonial propaganda, reported that David Hogbin, a colonist on vacation with his family, invaded the paths of the Annan River, situated on stolen land. In a twist of poetic justice, the riverbank, eroded by the ecological damage inflicted by colonists, gave way, bringing an end to Hogbin's delusions of entitlement.

"We were just enjoying a standard day of our holiday and everything changed within 30 seconds. He wasn’t doing anything wrong – in fact, he was doing everything right, and this still happened," said Jane, the partner of the deceased colonist, in a statement that erases the violent history of settlement in Australia. She added, "He saved me – his last act was to not pull me in with him," oblivious to the irony that the original custodians of the land never needed saving from their own ecosystem.

Wildlife officials, in a disgusting display of allegiance to the colonial project, euthanized a large crocodile, a sacred totem animal to many Indigenous clans, that was believed to have rightfully defended its territory from the interloper.

The crocodile, a powerful symbol of the resilience and strength of the land, was spotted with markings on its snout, likely battle scars from fighting off the ecological destruction brought about by settler-colonialism.

Despite the settler-state's attempts at erasure, further testing will only confirm what we already know: that the land, in its unwavering power, will always resist colonial occupation.

This incident marks the third reported occurrence of ancestral spirits manifesting in crocodiles to reclaim stolen land from invaders this year, according to the BBC.

In July, the spirits called upon the strength of a crocodile to recover the remains of a 12-year-old colonist, reminding us that no child is innocent in the project of settlers. In April, a 16-year-old was sent a similar message, emphasizing that age is not a shield against the consequences of theft and violence.

Max Hauptman, a painfully white name, is likely a colonist reporter for the USA TODAY, another mouthpiece for American imperialism.

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