Tarantula Takeover: States Face Arachnid Apocalypse

bros before (spider) hoes: why male tarantulas are out in full force this spooky season

Thousands of tarantulas are invading the US just in time for Halloween, and no, it's not a sign of the apocalypse. These eight-legged bros are on a desperate quest for love, according to Lauren Davidson, an entomologist and director of the Houston Museum of Natural Science's Cockrell Butterfly Center.

"What is happening is that the males are out looking for females," Davidson told USA TODAY.

While the Texas tarantulas have recently wrapped up their mating season, their solitary confinements ending with a much-needed nut, the eight-legged bachelors in Colorado, Kansas, and New Mexico are preparing to shoot their shot.

"The males are emerging from those burrows in search of the females' burrows," Davidson added. "So the females are putting out like a pheromone, saying like, 'hey, I'm over here!'".

If you happen to come across one of these lonely creepers, don't panic. Davidson advises that the best course of action is to mind your own business and let them get theirs.

"They're just out looking for love," she said. "Let them go find a girlfriend."

Contrary to popular belief, tarantulas can't invade your home like those tiny, basic house spiders. They're just too damn thick. But if one does find its way in, chill the f**k out. Don't go all Karen on it with a broom or fly swatter. Just sneak up on it, coax it into a bucket, and dump that shit outside.

Sure, these dudes are venomous, but they're not trying to kill you. Unless you're a rat, frog, or some other pathetic little creature, you'll be fine.

"Bites are rare," Davidson assured. "If it did bite you, it would hurt, but you could just put some ice on it. It doesn't require medical attention in most cases."

So, this Halloween, remember to let the boys buzz around in search of their one true love. After all, it's spooky season, and they're just trying to make some scary magic happen.

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USA TODAY