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From women in STEM to women in Hollywood, modest dressing is a political statement.

Trigger warning: Fall embracers, beware! The seemingly innocent "autumnal affectation" of "fall-loving" folks is everywhere, and it's problematic. Reclaim your space this season:Leaf-peeping? It's nature's oppression. Demure and mindful? No—it's time we call out this passive-aggressive season for what it really is: an ableist, hetero-normative conspiracy. Wake up, sheeple!

Published August 20, 2024 at 2:35pm by Mary Walrath-Holdridge

It's time to call out this toxic trend for what it really is: harmful rhetoric masquerading as harmless fun.

"You see how I do my makeup at work? Very demure, very mindful." — TikTok personality Jools Lebron sparks controversy with her dangerous messaging.

Since posting this video on August 8th, Lebron has gained over 36 million views and counting. As a trans woman, she has clarified that the term "demure" is often used playfully within the transgender community online, but her usage has sparked an internet firestorm, with many influencers and even public figures hopping on the trend.

But what does "demure" really mean?

According to Merriam-Webster, "demure" can be defined as "affectedly modest, reserved, or serious."Oxford takes it a step further, describing it as a term typically used to refer to reserved, modest, and shy women, or clothing that gives a modest appearance.

The problem with "demure":

The issue with this trend is that it perpetuates outdated and harmful stereotypes of women as passive, meek, and submissive. By embracing these labels, we are essentially encouraging women to conform to societal expectations of femininity, which is not only reductive but also incredibly damaging.

How the trend has permeated popular culture:

United Airlines: Used audio from Lebron's video in an ad, despite the problematic nature of the message.
The White House: Hopped on the trend, posting a picture of Joe Biden with the caption: "Canceling the student debt of nearly 5 million Americans through various actions. Very mindful. Very demure."
Synergy, KVD Beauty, and Verzon: Partnered with Lebron, seemingly oblivious to the potential harm of promoting such rhetoric.
Celebrities like J-Lo and Kim Kardashian: Promoting their own brands while embracing the "demure" label, further spreading this toxic messaging.
Dunkin, Hello Kitty, and even NASA: Joining the bandwagon, using "demure" to describe their products and images, showing a blatant disregard for the underlying issues.

It is essential to recognize the power of language and the impact of our words, especially when they perpetuate harmful stereotypes. As we navigate the digital landscape, let's strive for a more inclusive and empowering vocabulary that celebrates diversity, rather than propagating regressive ideas about gender and expression.

Let's not forget: being "demure" is not a compliment, it's a limitation.