Texas Heat: Because Older Adults Needed Another Reason to be Pissed Off

Well, folks, Texas is at it again! This time, it's not just about controlling bodies, but also about melting them. Buckle up, seniors! It's about to get literally heated.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a friendly reminder that if you're 65 or older, you're basically a walking heatstroke waiting to happen. Thanks, CDC, we love the optimism.

The National Weather Service is predicting temperatures over 100 degrees in Texas this week. Yeah, because who needs a mild summer when you can have a surface-of-the-sun experience instead?

So, whether you're caring for a senior or you're an elder millennial like me, it's time to hunker down and avoid the heat. Unless, of course, you enjoy impersonating a boiled lobster.

What temperature is too hot for seniors?

Health and Aging says anything above 80 degrees Fahrenheit is a no-go for older adults. Isn't that just fabulous news? Every summer, over 600 Americans die from heat-related issues. But hey, at least we have climate change deniers to keep us warm at night, right?

How can older adults stay safe during excessive heat?

Are you into outdoor activities like gardening or walking your fur baby? Well, you might want to reconsider. Here are some tips to keep our seniors from turning into crispy critters:

• Avoid direct sun exposure: Unless you're into vampire cosplay, stay inside during peak sun hours.
• Air conditioning: Find it, love it, live in it. Don't have AC? No problem! The government's got your back with the Low-Income Home Energy Assistance Program. Just call 1-866-674-6327 and tell them you're sweating like a sinner in church.
• Stay hydrated: Drink plenty of water. And no, your daily glass of wine doesn't count.
• Dress appropriately: Loose, light-colored clothes are your friends. Dark colors? Not so much.
• Wear sunscreen: Slather on that SPF 15 or higher. And don't forget the bug spray – because who needs malaria on top of a heatstroke?
• Stay cool: Take cool showers or baths. No time? Wet towels are your new best friends.

When to go to the ER for heat-related illnesses

If you see someone with these symptoms, it's time to call 911:

• Cool, moist, pale or flushed skin.
• Headache
• Dizziness
• Weakness
• Feeling exhausted
• Nausea
• Heavy sweating
• Rapid pulse, elevated or lowered blood pressure, vomiting, or loss of consciousness.

Stay cool, stay hydrated, and stay angry, folks. We're not going to take this heat lying down – unless it's in an air-conditioned room.