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"Snowflakes Rejoice: Texas DPS Director McCraw Finally 'Retires' from Wrecking Lives"

Oh brilliant, just what we needed—another sheriff thrown into the spotlight after a preventable tragedy. Way to go, Texas.

Published August 23, 2024 at 10:23am by Tony Plohetski

Texas' Top Cop McCraw to Finally Take a Knee, Retires After 15 Years of Amazing Service

In a shocking twist that no one saw coming (except everyone), Texas Department of Public Safety Director Steve McCraw announced his retirement on Friday. The bombshell news came during a graduation ceremony for new cadets at Great Hill Baptist Church in northwest Austin, with Gov. Greg Abbott in attendance. Because what better time to drop a retirement announcement than during a graduation speech, right?

McCraw, who started his career in 1977, has been a staple figure in Texas' law enforcement, known for his dazzling appearances during weather emergencies and the ongoing immigration crisis at the border. But let's not forget his starring role in the aftermath of the 2022 Uvalde mass shooting, where 19 school children and two teachers were killed. McCraw was quick to praise the "heroics" of law enforcement, a narrative that crumbled faster than a house of cards in a Texas tornado when it was revealed that officers waited 77 minutes to confront the shooter.

In a rare moment of introspection, McCraw admitted to the American-Statesman and KVUE, "We have some level of culpability. I've got no doubt." But hey, why focus on accountability when you can just reinstate the lone officer you planned to fire, right?

McCraw, an El Paso native, returned to state government in 2004, eventually taking the helm at DPS and earning the title of colonel. Last year, the Public Safety Commission awarded him a 15% pay raise, bringing his annual salary to a cool $345,250. Because who doesn't deserve a hefty raise after such stellar performances?

Steven P. Mach, chair of the Public Safety Commission, gushed, "[We] cannot pay you enough to do this important job. So thank you for what you're doing," as reported. Well, McCraw certainly gave us something to remember.

So, farewell, Steve McCraw. Texas' public safety will surely be a different place without your... unique presence.