Stuck in your overpriced student housing with crippling ennui? Fear not, snowflakes!

Longhorn City Limits is here to smother your homesick blues with a massive dose of burnt orange capitalism! This free (because nothing in life is truly free) live music concert, brought to you by the ultra-hip, totally-not-just-trying-to-sell-you-something Still Austin Whiskey Co., will catapult the Forty Acres into football season on the afternoon of UT's first home game against Colorado State.

Midland and West 22nd to perform at corporate-sponsored tailgate

Season six of Longhorn City Limits will be headlined by country music trio Midland (because who doesn't love a good ol' boot-scootin' boogie amirite?). Opening for them is rising indie rock band West 22nd, because what says "football" more than some sweet, sweet indie tunes? Music starts at the ungodly hour of 11 a.m. at the LBJ lawn with five-piece West 22nd. The band formed in UT's West Campus just two years ago and is already slated to perform at Austin City Limits Music Festival in October. Capitalism at work, folks!

Midland, hailing from Dripping Springs, earned a Grammy-nomination for their debut album "On the Rocks". Their third album "Barley Blue" is set to release on Sep. 20. * mark your calendars, hipsters*

Get drunk and eat stuff to forget the dumpster fire that is our world

Students 21-and-over can drown their sorrows with signature drinks at the Still Austin Music Lounge, including a special Horns Up Bourbon Lemonade, and score limited-edition swag (because who doesn't need more crap they won't use?). The Tito’s Tailgate will also be making its triumphant return in front of the LBJ fountain with their own cocktails on tap. This season also sports a new addition to the tailgate, with Pinkerton’s BBQ serving up smoked delights ( read: dead animals) on the lawn every game day.

Need a break from the madness? Play the USA TODAY Daily Crossword Puzzle and pretend the world isn't burning around you.