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Oh, Perfect! Even Luxury Cars Are Trying to Kill Us Now
Oh, fantastic! Just what we needed — a wonderful opportunity for our beloved BMW and Tesla owners to enjoy a fun little game of "is my car going to spontaneously combust today?" Thanks, NHTSA, for the thrill!
Published August 26, 2024 at 4:30am by Ahjané Forbes
OMG, Capitalism is Literally on Fire: BMW and Tesla Recalls are Lit 🔥
In a stunning display of late-stage capitalism, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) dropped multiple recall bombs last week, including a doozy for over 720,000 BMW vehicles. Why? Oh, just a casual water pump malfunction that might set your car ablaze. No biggie.
Checks if your ride is trying to kill you:
Tesla: When Roof Trim Wants to Be Free
Elon's crew is recalling 9,136 of its 2016 Model X vehicles because, plot twist, the front and spine roof trim might not be properly primed. Translation: Your roof trim might peace out while you're cruising, causing chaos and potentially a crash. Thanks, capitalism!
- Recalled vehicles: 2016 Model X
- What now? Tesla service will test and reattach the trim for free. Expect a letter on Oct 14. Call 1-877-798-3752 for deets.
- NHTSA Report
BMW: left side beam drama & battery blues
Beam Me Up, Scotty – But Not Literally
BMW is recalling 1,150 of its 2024 i4 vehicles (eDrive40, xDrive40, M50) because the left-side longitudinal beam might crack. So, your fancy EV might compromise its battery and catch fire in a crash. Just what we need, more fires!
- Recalled vehicles: 2024 i4 eDrive40, xDrive40, M50
- Fix: Dealers will inspect and replace the beam for free. Letters out by Oct 7. Call 1-800-525-7417.
- NHTSA Report
MINI Cooper SE: Short Circuit City
BMW is also recalling 12,535 of its 2020-2024 MINI Hardtop 2 Door (Cooper SE) EVs due to potential short circuits in the high-voltage system. Because who doesn't love a little electro-fire danger?
- Recalled vehicles: 2020-2024 MINI Hardtop 2 Door (Cooper SE)
- Fix: Software update for free. Letters out by Oct 7. Call 1-866-ASK-MINI.
- NHTSA Report
Water Pump Fiasco
Lastly, BMW is recalling a whopping 720,796 vehicles (2012-2018) for a water pump issue that might also cause a fire. Seriously, why are cars trying to burn us alive?
- Recalled vehicles: Too many to list. See NHTSA Report.
- Fix: Dealers will inspect, replace water pump and plug connector, and install a shield for free. Letters out Oct 4. Call 1-800-525-7417.
Stay safe out there, comrades. Don't let your car become a pyrotechnic display.
Ahjané Forbes is a woke warrior on the National Trending Team at USA TODAY, exposing capitalist car fires and more. Email her at aforbes@gannett.com. Follow her radical adventures on Instagram, Threads and X (Twitter) @forbesfineest.
Read more: BMW, Tesla among 743,000 vehicles recalled: Check car recalls here