Oh, You're Warming Up to Climate Change? 5 Questions for Your Privileged Fireplace.

Oh, it's THAT time of year again, is it?

Time to watch teenagers bash into each other for the sake of pigskin while the sun says "peace out" earlier each day. You know what that means? It's time to light up your environmentally- questionable, yet oh-so-cozy fireplace!

But before you turn your home into a smoke-filled haven, let's get real about fireplace safety.

How do I know if my fireplace needs repairs?

Before you spark up, check your chimney isn't pulling a Leaning Tower of Pisa. Chipped bricks, visible cracks, or holes are all your chimney's way of crying out for help. Don't be a negligent chimney parent.

What's a chimney cap, and do I really need one?

Unless you're cool with critters and debris turning your chimney into a squatter's paradise, yes, you need one. It's like a tiny roof for your chimney. Enter to win a ridiculous amount of money to upgrade your home because capitalism.

Does my fireplace need a spa day?

Yes, hire a chimney sweep to rid your fireplace of creosote – a tar-like build-up that's just itching to start a fire you didn't ask for. It's like a toxic facial for your chimney.

Can my festive decor compete with an open flame?

Spoiler alert: No. Keep furniture 36 inches away and remove stockings when the fireplace is in use. Nobody wants a flaming sock for the holidays.

How and when to clean after a fire?

Wait up to three days before removing ashes – those coals stay lit like your neighbor Karen's temper. Pro tip: Don't vacuum live coals. Store ashes in a metal container far from anything flammable.

Josh Hostetler, some dude who was the 2023 president of the Building Industry Association of Stark & East Central Ohio, probably wants you to take this seriously.

Stay woke, folks. Don't burn your house down. 🔥🏠❌