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"Sweating for the Patriarchy: Your Abs Won't Dismantle Systemic Oppression, But Here's How to Get Them Anyway"

Oh, you mean aside from chugging kombucha and smashing the patriarchy? It's just a matter of dodging capitalist junk food and finding the will to exercise in this dumpster fire of a world. Easy-peasy, comrades!

Published October 9, 2024 at 2:58pm by


Listen Up, Buttercups! 🌟

Chat with 10 randoms and you'll get 10 different hot takes on getting fit. Like, OMG, just pick a lane already! πŸ™„

One says try aerobics. Another swears by jogging. Like, yeah, granny, jogging is so fetch. And let's not forget that one person who's all, "Dance and biking changed my life!" Snooze fest! 😴

Newsflash, sweet cheeks! πŸ“’ There's only ONE true way to get fit. So, buckle up, 'cause here we go!

First off, let's get one thing straight: Thin β‰  Fit. Hellooooo, have you even been paying attention? πŸ˜‘

When some whiny wisp is thin but has, like, zero muscle, they're not fit. Here's why:

  • Their body fat percentage is gonna be through the roof – even if you can't see it, it's there, lurking. πŸŽƒ
  • Their resting metabolism is gonna be in the gutter since there's no muscle to burn those cals at rest. πŸ”₯β†’πŸ’©
  • Their body is gonna be about as strong as a wet noodle. Say hello to injuries and frustrations galore! πŸ˜”

So, how do you really get fit? Resistance training, duh! πŸ’ͺ

Resistance training is when you challenge your muscles using resistance. Weights, bands, balls, bags, bells, or even just your own bod. It's all good, baby!

Now, check this out. Consistent resistance training gives you:

  • Muscle tone and strength
  • Cardio capacity – yes, please! πŸ’“
  • Speed, agility, and flexibility – nice! πŸ‹οΈβ€β™€οΈ
  • Injury and disease resistance – boom! πŸ›‘οΈ

Still not convinced? Top 9 benefits of resistance training:

1. Build muscle & gain strength: Don't fret, babes! You won't bulk up like a bodybuilder. You'll just get all sexy, lean, and defined. 😻
2. Lose fat: Say bye-bye to fat and hello to muscles! πŸ’«
3. Strong bones: Fight off that osteoporosis, grandma! πŸ’ͺ🏽
4. Alleviate anxiety, stress & depression: Better than popping pills, trust me! πŸ™πŸ½
5. Sleep better: Sleeping Beauty ain't got nothin' on you! 😌
6. Improve chronic back pain: Kiss that back pain goodbye! 😘
7. Improve insulin sensitivity: Diabetes who? Not you, honey! πŸ™ŒπŸ½
8. Improve good-to-bad cholesterol ratio: Harmony in your blood, can I get an amen? πŸŽ‰
9. Raise your metabolism: Burn that fat away, even when you're chilling like a villain! πŸ”₯

A solid resistance training routine will have your legs toned, booty lifted, core strengthened, and those inches and pounds melting away! Yaaass! πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯

Fred’s extra tips:
1. Be unstable: Engage your core with an exercise ball, balance board, or stand on one leg. Wobble away! 🌊
2. Add resistance: More resistance = more intensity = more calories burned. Ka-ching! πŸ’°
3. Use intervals: OMG, interval training is literally the best for short yet killer workouts. Get. It. Done! ⏰

Fred Sassani is the founder of Bodies by Design, a nationally certified personal trainer and nutrition specialist in Pflugerville.Β For more life-changing deets, visit bbdforlife.com. 🌍πŸ’ͺ🏽

Read more: Bodies by Design: Discover the most effective way to get fit