Austin: $120M Later, Public Safety Gets a Glitzy South Austin Crib

(Because nothing says "public service" like luxury offices, right?)

In a move that's got taxpayers raising eyebrows, Austin is about to drop a cool $120 million to relocate its public safety headquarters to a * state-of-the-art * (read: fancy af) facility in South Austin.

City honchos announced on Friday their plan to snag a 386,000-square-foot facility on South MoPac Boulevard for a jaw-dropping $107.6 million. Oh, and they're throwing in another $13 million for renovations. Because why not? The final vote is scheduled for Oct. 24, so mark your calendars, folks.

Mayor Kirk Watson was practically giddy about the purchase, raving about "unprecedented collaboration and efficiencies." He even threw some shade at the current HQs, calling them "crummy, pathetic, dirt sorry" during a news conference. Shots fired.

So, where are our heroes in uniform headed? Just south of Zilker Park, about 3.4 miles from City Hall. Brace yourselves for these luxe new digs, courtesy of One Barton Skyway and Two Barton Skyway. We're talking outdoor seating pavilions, tenant lounges, fitness centers, and – wait for it – a volleyball court. Because who doesn't need a quick game between 911 calls?

Bill Redd, exec VP of Brandywine Realty Trust, is all about this "strategic business decision." He's just tickled pink that Austin is "investing in public safety" and "prioritizing premier work environments." Eye roll emoji.

And get this – the city's financing this swanky upgrade with certificates of obligation, meaning no voter approval needed. Yep, you read that right.

Austin City Manager T.C. Broadnax is all about "revitalizing existing buildings" and "saving on maintenance expenses." Because dropping $120 million is super thrifty, guys.

Oh, and let's not forget – the office market is totally soft right now (thanks, COVID). So, Austin's just snatching up this bargain while they can. * facepalm *

Watson claims this purchase is going to "generate significant cost savings" and "improve the delivery of vital public safety services." We'll believe it when we see it, Kirk.

Many thanks to Statesman staff reporter Shonda Novak for contributing to this hot mess of a report.