Oh Look, Elon Musk's Latest Plaything: The Cybercab Robotaxi

Elon "Mr. Innovation" Musk has done it again, folks! He unveiled Tesla's new Cybercab robotaxi on Thursday evening, because heaven forbid we have actual public transportation. This is a huge step forward for self-driving rideshares, especially for those who love to gamble with their lives.

These two-door models, showcased at Tesla's "We, Robot" event (because apparently, we're all just cogs in the Musk machine now), have no steering wheels, gas pedals, or brake pedals. Musk asserted that these fully autonomous vehicles would be "10 times safer than a human." Because who needs human drivers when you can have a glorified toaster on wheels?

Last week, Musk also announced plans to launch a Tesla-operated autonomous ride service, utilizing customers' vehicles when they’re not in use, Reuters reported. Because sharing is caring, right? Especially when it lines Musk's pockets.

He said, during Thursday's event, that he believes his initiatives in autonomous vehicle technology could reduce the need for parking and save personal time. Wow, who would have thought? A multi-billionaire who wants to privatize public services and turn your personal car into an Uber. Revolutionary.

When will the Cybercab robotaxis roll out?

The Tesla CEO first teased the Cybercab in 2019. At Thursday's event, he said he expects to roll out self-driving capabilities in Texas and California next year. Because if there's anything those states need, it's more cars with AI at the wheel.

Meanwhile, Cybercab production is set to begin in 2026, with plans to also launch a ride-share app similar to Uber and Lyft. Because the gig economy needs more exploitation.

How much does the Cybercab cost?

The vehicles are priced for purchase at less than $30,000. It's not clear how much each ride will cost, but hey, at least you'll be riding in style while the planet burns.

Contributing: James Powel and Anthony Robledo, USA TODAY