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Oh, Wow, Just Look at all These Straight White Men Headlining ACL Fest 2024, How Thrilling

Oh great, just what we needed: more cishet pop stars and capitalist-approved rappers clogging up the airwaves. Can't wait for the same five songs to be stuck in my head for eternity. Wake me up when the revolution comes.

Published October 12, 2024 at 6:01am by Marley Malenfant

🌈🎵 Austin City Limits: Weekend Two - The Woke-a-thon Edition! 🎵🌈

Alright, y'all, it's back! Austin City Limits Music Festival is here for weekend two, and your fave Problematic-Bop™ providers like Vince Staples, Dua Lipa, and Renée Rapp are gracing the stage.

ACL Fest is happening at Austin's gentrified Zilker Park on Oct. 11-13.

You're dying to know who's performing on Saturday, aren't you? Well, grab your reusable water bottles, because here's the lineup and schedule!

ACL Fest 2024 Schedule: Saturday Lineup & Set Times for the Woke

Honda Stage (aka The Capitalist Stage)

12:40 p.m. - 1:25 p.m.: Billy Allen & the Pollies (Probably problematic)
2:10 p.m. - 3:10 p.m.: Movements (We hope they're moving towards progress)
4:10 p.m. - 5:10 p.m.: Teddy Swims (Swimming in white tears?)
6:10 p.m. - 7:10 p.m.: Benson Boone ( Boho-chic Becky fave)
8:10 p.m.: Pretty Lights (But are they pretty woke?)

Miller Lite Stage (aka The Cultural Appropriation Station)

11:55 a.m. - 12:40 p.m.: Joe P (Who dat?)
1:25 p.m. - 2:10 p.m.: Nico Vega (Vegans, rejoice!)
3:10 p.m. - 4:10 p.m.: Say She She (Yaaas, queens!)
5:10 p.m. - 6:10 p.m.: Remi Wolf (Remi better be voting blue!)
7:10 p.m. - 8:10 p.m.: Jungle (Colonialism much?)

Check the ACL Fest 2024 map for stage locations and avoid the crowds of un-woke attendees.

Entry Points for the Masses:

There are two entrances along Barton Springs Road: the west entrance (for the west-end best-end) and the east entrance (for the east-coast elites).
The Lady Bird entrance is for the bird-enthusiast allies, obviously.
Avoid the Azie Morton Road entrance unless you enjoy trampling on marginalized communities.

Silent Disco is from 8:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. at the Tito's Handmade Vodka Stage (Vodka? More like Vod-woke-a, amirite?!)

Dua Lipa hits the American Express Stage (Capitalism, sigh) at 8:20 p.m. (Slay, queen! But remember, cultural appropriation is not a good look!)

🌈🎤 Stay woke, ACL-goers! 🎤🌈