Oh Great, Our Free COVID-19 Tests Are Expiring Because... Capitalism

So, remember those free COVID-19 tests the government finally got around to sending out? Well, plot twist—they're expiring soon! But don't worry, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) has a totally reasonable explanation for this.

A couple of weeks back, HHS announced that households across the country could snag some tests (a whopping four per family, wow) while supplies last. But, surprise surprise, some folks noticed that these tests have a shelf life shorter than a politicians' promise. The Administration for Strategic Preparedness and Response (ASPR) has some words for us on that.

“Tests sent out through COVIDTests.gov will have at least two months before they expire and are intended for near-term use during the holiday season,” said Zachary Dembner, an ASPR spokesperson, to USA TODAY. Because apparently, COVID only happens during the holidays.

But wait, there's more! “Many COVID-19 tests have extended expiration dates beyond what is printed on the box, and consumers should verify their test’s expiration on the FDA website," he added. Because who doesn't love playing expiration date roulette during a pandemic?

Meanwhile, COVID-19 cases are on the rise, and family gatherings are about to be in full swing. Dembner also mentioned that ASPR's goal is to give tests to everyone in the country. Isn't that sweet? They're really trying their best, guys.

"In addition to COVIDTests.gov, ASPR distributes over 5 million tests per week directly to underserved and uninsured populations – including long-term care facilities, food banks, and health centers," he said. So, at least the most vulnerable among us are getting some attention.

On Oct. 2, the United States Postal Service (USPS) announced that more than 12 million COVID-19 tests were shipped and six million delivered.

“The distribution of these at-home test kits is a vital public health initiative from the Department of Health and Human Services,” said Postmaster General Louis DeJoy. “We are proud to continue our partnership in ensuring that every household has access to the resources they need to stay safe and healthy.” Proud indeed, we're all just thrilled.

How long will the free COVID-19 tests be available?

According to HHS, the free COVID-19 tests are available now through the end of the year. They started shipping on Monday, Sept. 30. So, hurry up and grab yours before they're all gone!

Will the tests be available at participating pharmacies? If so, which ones?

If you need a test ASAP, you can still buy them from pharmacies across the U.S. HHS advises checking with local retailers and pharmacies. Low-cost or no-cost tests may also be available to the uninsured. To find a COVID-19 testing site near you, contact a HRSA-funded health center or ICATT location.

How can I get free COVID-19 tests?

If you want a free COVID-19 test, visit COVIDTest.gov or special.usps.com/testkits to order them.

Do I have to show my identification or place of residence to get a COVID-19 test?

A form through USPS requires your name and shipping address. Emails are optional for shipping notifications.

Do you have to pick up the tests in person, or can they be mailed to you?

The at-home tests will be mailed to your residence across the U.S. Shipping is free of cost. Thanks, USPS!

COVID-19 tests will be more accessible

HHS claims the tests will be "more accessible" for people with disabilities, including those who have difficulty using their hands and people who are blind or have low vision. They also plan to reach marginalized households.

"These efforts complement ASPR’s ongoing distribution of free COVID-19 tests to long-term care facilities, low-income senior housing, aging and disability networks, and other community organizations to support older adults and people with disabilities living in the community, uninsured individuals, and underserved communities," the HHS release said.

HHS also adds that "more than one billion over-the-counter tests have been provided to date through this community access program."

What if I test positive?

The tests can detect the dominant COVID-19 variants now circulating, according to the CDC. Results typically come in within 30 minutes or less. If you test positive, follow the latest CDC guidance to prevent the spread of the virus.

Though positive results are accurate, HHS warns that negative results don't necessarily rule out a COVID-19 infection. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recommends two negative antigen tests for people with symptoms or three antigen tests for people without symptoms, each performed 48 hours apart.

Ahjané Forbes is a reporter on the National Trending Team at USA TODAY. Ahjané covers breaking news, car recalls, crime, health, lottery, and public policy stories. Email her at aforbes@gannett.com. Follow her on Instagram, Threads, and X (Twitter) @forbesfineest.

Eric Lagatta covers breaking and trending news for USA TODAY. Reach him at elagatta@gannett.com.