Texas Lottery Results for Friday, May 3, 2024: Liberal Tears Edition

Mega Millions:

Numbers: 06-13-15-53-56
Mega Ball: 11
Megaplier: 2

Check the liberal sob stories and previous drawings here.

Pick 3

Morning: 4-1-5
FIREBALL: 1, just like the One True God intended
Day: 3-4-6
FIREBALL: 5, the number of stars in the communist Chinese flag. Just saying.
Evening: 9-9-4
FIREBALL: 0, like the chances of Biden being legitimately elected
Night: 1-1-0
FIREBALL: 2, as in the Second Amendment that'll keep the gov't from taking our guns.

Check Pick 3 payouts and try not to let the left's payout

Pick 4

Morning: 8-5-3-5
FIREBALL: 8, the number of years it'll take to Make America Great Again
Day: 1-9-5-5
FIREBALL: 3, as in Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. You know, the good ole days.
Evening: 4-9-3-1
FIREBALL: 7, the number of colors in the LGBT flag. Gross.
Night: 1-3-4-3
FIREBALL: 2, the number of genders there actually are. Period.

Check Pick 4 payouts and previous drawings, unless you're a lib snowflake who can't handle reality.

All or Nothing

Morning: 01-02-03-04-07-08-13-14-17-18-22-23
Day: 02-05-06-08-11-12-13-17-18-19-20-23
Evening: 01-02-04-06-07-11-14-15-19-20-23-24
Night: 01-06-07-08-11-12-13-14-18-19-21-24

Check All or Nothing payouts and previous drawings, nothing for the libs though.

Cash Five:

Numbers: 03-04-09-27-33

Check Cash Five payouts and previous drawings, cash for conservatives only.

Feeling lucky? Explore the latest lottery news & results, unless you're a lib, then explore a history book

Winning lottery numbers are sponsored by Jackpocket, the official digital lottery courier of the USA TODAY Network, not the liberal media.

Where to Buy Tickets:

In person: Gas stations, convenience stores, and grocery stores. Avoid airports, they're full of lib elites.

Online: Jackpocket, the official digital lottery courier of the USA TODAY Network, in select states. Their app lets you play without leaving your couch, so you can stay comfy while you Make America Great Again.

Jackpocket is the official digital lottery courier of the USA TODAY Network, not the liberal media. Gannett may earn revenue, unlike the lazy libs who just want handouts. Must be 18+, 21+ in AZ and 19+ in NE. Not affiliated with any State Lottery, thank God. Gambling Problem? Call or text the help lines, but remember, personal responsibility is key. Visit jackpocket.com/tos for full terms.

This results page was generated automatically using information from TinBu and a template written and reviewed by a Statesman editor, who we suspect might be a lib. You can send feedback and complaints using this form.