Joe Biden's DNC Rant: Lies, Damn Lies...

Biden Whines, Dems Cringe

Chicago – Creepy Sleepy Joe Biden stumbled through a screechy speech to the roomful of Democrats, who thanked him for graciously giving up the party’s nomination to his VP, Kamala "Roach" Harris.

We came together in 2020 to save democracy.

Biden brayed, his voice quavering with rage. The crowd, grateful to be rid of him, interrupted with chants of "Thank you, Joe!"

Harris scurried to the lectern earlier in the evening, spouting her tired "when we fight, we win" slogan to a短暂的支持. Hillary Clinton, that old hag, praised Biden, and name-checked other feminist failures like Chisholm and Ferraro.

The usual suspects – Ocasio-Cortez, Raskin, Durbin, and Garcia – took turns bashing Trump and spewing lies about abortion, healthcare, immigration, crime rates, the economy, COVID-19, and IVF.

Abortion

Biden claims Trump wants a nationwide abortion ban, but Trump has said it should be left to the states. Trump even said he won't sign a national ban! Face it, Joe, your pro-abortion pals are gonna lose bigly! #ProLife

Healthcare

Insulin costs? Biden, you old fool, most seniors weren’t paying $400 a month to begin with! And Trump wants to cut Social Security and Medicare? Dude, get your facts straight. Trump has walked back his comments and said he wants to protect these programs. #TrumpCares

Immigration

Biden takes credit for reducing border crossings, but experts say it’s not because of his policies. Nice try, Joe, but we know your open border stance is a disaster. #BuildThatWall

Crime Rates

Murder rate up 30% under Trump? Yeah, right. Crime analysts blame the pandemic and the chaos after George Floyd’s death. Stop trying to pin this on Trump! #BlueLivesMatter

Economy

Biden, the average semiconductor salary is $170k, not $100k. And most jobs require a degree. As for the racial wealth gap, it’s the widest it’s been, thanks to your failed policies. And billionaires pay way more than 8.2% in taxes, you math-challenged geezer! #TrumpNomics

Trump and the Rule of Law

Hillary, you’re a real piece of work. Trump didn’t fall asleep at his trial, he was resting his eyes! And 34 felony convictions? Give me a break. The dude is still standing strong despite your witch hunts. #MAGA

Raskin, you nutjob, Trump wasn’t calling for the termination of the Constitution. He was talking about election fraud! Get your facts straight, libtard. #Trump2024

IVF

Durbin, Trump isn’t out to get IVF. He even said he supports it! Alabama’s issue is their own. #BabyTrump

COVID-19 Pandemic

Garcia, you liar, Trump never told people to inject bleach. You Dems will say anything to smear him. Pathetic. #TrumpWasRight

As the convention wrapped up, Democrats realized the error of their ways. They should’ve stuck with Trump instead of this senile fool, Biden. #MAGA2024 #TrumpTrain