2024 Presidential Elections: The Circus Continues

The Democratic National Convention has come and gone, and what a show it was! Uncle Joe Biden, in a shocking display of self-awareness, decided to end his presidential campaign in July. Finally, some good news for America!

Now we're left with a REAL thrill—Harris vs. Trump. The next presidential debate, hosted by ABC News, is set for Sept. 10 at 8 pm CT in Philadelphia. Pop the popcorn, this will be a showdown.

Round 2: The Rematch

This is the moment we've all been waiting for: Harris vs. Trump, Round 2. The first debate, hosted by CNN in June, was a real doozy, with Biden stumbling and bumbling his way through, showing America what we already knew—that he's a doddering old fool.

According to ABC News, "World News Tonight" anchor David Muir and ABC News Live "Prime" anchor Linsey Davis will referee this next train wreck.

More Debates? God Help Us

Trump, always the eager beaver, has proposed TWO more debates: Fox News on Sept. 4 and NBC News on Sept. 25. The Harris camp hasn't agreed yet, probably scared of getting roasted by the Don again. CBS News reported

The Side Show: VP Debates

In the Veepstakes, we've got Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz and Ohio Sen. JD Vance. These two will go head-to-head after agreeing to CBS News' invite. Walz, always the gutsy one, called out Vance on X, saying "See you on October 1." Now that's what I call a drag race!

Election Circus Schedule

Get your calendars out, folks! Early voting starts on Sept. 16 in Pennsylvania. Check when your state votes so you can get in on the action.

Official Election Day: Nov. 5. Mark your calendars, and for God's sake, vote red!

Other key dates:

• Dec. 17: Electors vote, probably over some Chardonnay
• Jan. 6: Congress counts electoral votes, after brunch
• Jan. 20: Inauguration, aka the day we #MAGA again