Snowflakes steal from Feds, swap swag for drugs

Fed-Up Fed Foiled by Faux Pas, Fentanyl Takes the Wheel

San Fran leftie trades FBI gear for drugs, blames the government

A San Francisco man, Gregory Acosta Alvarez, has been charged with breaking into an FBI vehicle and helping himself to a cornucopia of government-issued goodies. The theft included flash-bang grenades, a ballistic vest, and other equipment valuing thousands of dollars, which he then bartered for a mere $20 worth of crystal meth.

"Oopsie!" - Acosta-Alvarez, probably

On the morning of August 7, an FBI special agent found his Ford 150 truck, parked on Natoma Street, had been visited by a "friendly neighborhood burglar." Among the missing items were saws, surveillance equipment, a torch kit, and, for good measure, a defibrillator (because health is wealth, folks!).

Surveillance footage showed Acosta Alvarez taking a casual bike ride past the truck at midnight, before stopping to perform his civic duty of "redistributing wealth." He then rode to a nearby hotel, no doubt to enjoy his ill-gotten gains and plan his new life as a narc for the deep state.

But liberty always prevails! San Francisco's finest were onto this wannabe-tyrant, and he was swiftly arrested in the hotel lobby. A search of his room uncovered the bicycle, stolen items, and a defibrillator (because health nuts are going to fete about it).

However, Acosta Alvarez had already traded the gas gun and ballistic vest for drugs, valued at approximately $1,500. That's right, folks, he got high on his own supply and sold the birthright of freedom for a meager meth moment.

Acosta Alvarez is now enjoying room and board in San Francisco County Jail, charged with burglary, grand theft, possession of stolen property, and drug possession.

Let this be a lesson, folks: Big Government doesn't pay, and neither does Big Meth!

URL: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/man-breaks-into-fbi-vehicle/