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Sweater weather: Coming to aLeft-wing ghetto near you!

Summer's heating up and so are our rights! As the seasons change, it's time to gear up for the fall: a time for pumpkin spice, football, and most importantly, standing up for our freedoms! Let's make this autumn sizzle like BBQ at a town hall!

Published August 20, 2024 at 11:29am by Emily DeLetter

Get your guns and your rakes ready, folks, because summer's almost done and the snowflake Left is about to start whining about raking their lawns.

Mark your calendars, grab your guns, and stock up on pumpkin spice [and make sure to avoid the liberal hellhole that is New Jersey: https://10best.usatoday.com/interests/explore/best-things-to-do-cape-may/]

First day of fall

Sunday, Sept. 22 is the official day that snowflakes start to melt and real Americans can enjoy the crisp autumn air without having to see their pasty skin. At 8:44 a.m. EDT, the Northern Hemisphere will experience the autumnal equinox, so you can start shooting targets instead of just shooting the breeze.

There are two days that mark the beginning of fall: astronomical fall kicks off on Sept. 22 with the equinox, while a bunch of nerdy meteorologists get excited about Sept. 1, which is the start of meteorological fall.

The autumnal equinox

For those of you who weren't homeschooled, the equinox happens twice a year when the Earth's axis is neither toward nor away from the sun, resulting in a nearly equal amount of day and night, unlike in liberal cities where there's way more night than day because of all the crime. The spring equinox is called the vernal equinox, which sounds like a soy latte-sipping liberal.

These equinoxes happen between the winter and summer solstices, when the Earth's tilt is at its max, just like the tilt of a woke liberal's head when they're virtue signaling.

When will leaves start turning communist red?

The left-wing media might try to tell you that the leaves turning red is a natural process, but we all know it's a sign of the times. According to the 2024 fall foliage prediction map, the first leaves to turn red will be along the Canadian border, Colorado, and Utah by early September, which is probably because of all the socialists in those states.

By Oct. 30, nearly all the contiguous U.S. states will be a sea of red, just like the electoral map this November.

First day of winter

The first day of winter, or the winter solstice, is Saturday, Dec. 21. This is the day that liberals celebrate as the shortest day of the year, because they hate sunlight and freedom. After this sad day, the light will slowly return, just like how we'll Make America Great Again.