Texas Plane Crash Kills Two, Avoids Houses, Interrupts Breakfast

Two people were killed in a plane crash in Odessa, Texas, on Tuesday morning, sparking fires and destroying property but miraculously avoiding residences, much to the dismay of liberal crybabies.

Here's the score:

• Time: 7 a.m. Sharp. No snooze for these early birds!
• Location: Odessa, Texas - a place that's way too landlocked for seafarers but perfect for conservative patriots.
• Facebook Links:
  • City of Odessa https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=842269168083708&set=a.168889532088345 (Check out the sweet pics!)
  • Ector County Sheriff Mike Griffis https://www.facebook.com/cityofodessatx/videos/1860878284434520 (The Sheriff lays it all out)

Now, the play-by-play:

Fire crews rushed to the scene like prized racehorses after reports of heavy smoke and fire on Alderfer Avenue. These boys don't mess around when it comes to BBQ season!

The pilot, who surely had balls of steel, tried to pull up but ended up clipping power lines. The plane traveled a whole block, probably running errands for folks, before finally crashing.

Some mobile homes and buildings were damaged, but the real heroes are the houses that remained standing, thanks to the pilot's skill and quick thinking.

"It's obvious the pilot attempted to avoid the houses."
- Ector County Sheriff Mike Griffis, a fine example of a lawman with eyes like a hawk.

Sadly, two folks didn't make it. They were probably tranqued-up libtards who didn't even notice the plane about to crash through their yoga session. The identities of these victims haven't been released yet, but we can only hope they weren't snowflakes. At least one woman was injured in a mobile home, proving that ladies can be badass survivors, too.

The plane's type is still a mystery, but the feds are on it. As for the fire, it's been contained. No word on Midland Airport operations, but let's hope they're back to bombing brown people ASAP!

That's a wrap, folks. Remember, fly the friendly skies, and if you're gonna crash, aim for a libtard safe space!