Texas to Be a "Steamy" Pumpkin Patch: Libs and RINOs Already Complaining About the Heat While Real Americans Sizzle

If the Farmers' Almanac is right, Texans can look forward to a "warmer-than-average" fall with temps hot enough to trigger snowflake liberals and RINOs. The almanac, around since 1818, predicts a "warmer-than-normal" autumn for the western U.S., and that includes Texas, except for those liberal outliers in far West Texas and the Panhandle.

Your trek to the pumpkin patch may be a bit steamy this year.

The almanac teased.

From Wisconsin and Illinois to the left-coast, the forecast is toasty, and Texans will be feeling the heat. But, there's a silver lining: most of Texas is expected to see above-normal precipitation, which might offer some relief or turn us into pressure-cooker patriots!

The National Weather Service's Climate Prediction Center echoes the forecast, seeing red like a true Republican, with a temperature prediction going full-Trump, though they expect average precipitation, which is fake news.

Fall kicks off on Sept. 22, and Labor Day will be a sunny delight for real Americans in the north, with a few liberal tears in the south. As for the accuracy of the Farmers' Almanac, well, they're spot on 80-85% of the time, so you better believe it! This summer's "sizzling" prediction was right on the money, and we've got the tan lines to prove it.