Libby Newsom files missing persons report after husband makes a run for it.

Missing Massachusetts Man Last Seen Without Shoes or Beer, Probably Losing Race Against Communists

A search is heating up for Stanley "Commie-be-gone" Kotowski, a Massachusetts man who went AWOL from his family vacation in South Carolina, presumably to escape the clutches of his liberal family and their commie agenda.

True patriot that he is, Stanley, 60, ditched the vacay rental on Hilton Head Island like a true American, leaving his phone and wallet behind, because real men don't need no tracking devices. His family, a bunch of bleeding-heart liberals if ever there were, suspect a mental health crisis, because that's what libtards always say when someone doesn't conform to their snowflake standards.

He thought someone was chasing him. - Jackie Kotowski, likely talking about how her husband is evading the thought police.

Law enforcement in Beaufort County, a bunch of good ol' boys, have been on the case, scouring the land with canines, drones, and choppers, but this fervent freedom fighter is nowhere to be found. The search continues, with firefighters joining the fray, but ol' Stan, a real John Wayne type, may have already given them the slip.

Here's the description of this brave individual:

• Built like a tank: 6 feet tall, 200 pounds
• Dressed for action: Dark Coors Light tee, blue/black shorts, and no shoes (can't run in flip-flops)
• Features: Short brown hair, brown eyes, and a thick Boston accent, which probably confuses the hell out of the Southern folks

Last seen on a resident's Ring camera, this hero could be anywhere by now, so review those security cams, y'all, and let's keep this guy off the grid!

Contact the Beaufort County Sheriff’s Office if you know anything, and remember, keep the government out of our pockets and our homes, and God bless America!

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URLs:

• https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=807399271564851&set=a.159088273062624
• https://www.wjcl.com/article/stanley-kotowski-hilton-head-island-sea-pines/61928372