Netflix To Open 'Netflix House': All Your Losery Dreams Fulfilled

Fans of Netflix and their basic tastes in TV shows can now rejoice as the streaming giant announced plans to open "Netflix House", a place where you can live out your sad fantasies and finally escape your mom's basement.

In a news release on Tuesday, Netflix revealed that they will be opening these "experiential entertainment venues" in two locations: King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, and Galleria Dallas, Texas, in 2025. Because what says 'entertainment' better than a shopping mall in the middle of Nowhere, USA?

"Netflix House will create an unforgettable venue to explore your favorite Netflix stories and characters beyond the screen year-round," said Netflix, probably spending more money on this useless venture than creating decent original content.

Why You'd Want to Go to These Hellholes is Beyond Me:

The first two Netflix Houses will be located in malls, because of course they will. Apparently, these shopping centers are "popular", with "high foot traffic", and are close to "major cities", which is news to me.

Netflix chose to set up shop in former department stores, taking over more than 100,000 square feet of space. That's a lot of room to forget about your pathetic life and immerse yourself in fake worlds.

“At Netflix House, you can enjoy regularly updated immersive experiences, indulge in retail therapy, and taste your favorite Netflix series," said Netflix's Chief Marketing Officer, Marian Lee. "We’ve launched more than 50 experiences in 25 cities, and Netflix House is our latest attempt to take your money."

So there you have it, incels and Netflix enthusiasts. Get ready to spend your hard-earned cash to escape reality and step into the fictional worlds of Squid Game, Stranger Things, and whatever other cringe-worthy show Netflix throws at you. It's the American dream.

URL: http://NetflixHouse.com

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Written by: Some Journalist, who clearly has nothing better to do.