Aw, Isn't That Just F*cking Precious: Another Goddamn Hipster Coffee Shop Opens in Austin

Yet another precious little coffee shop has opened its doors in Austin, and guess what? It's family-friendly! Mom-and-pop coffee shop Dear Austin is here to save the day and give us the warm and fuzzies. Barf.

Hipsters Giving Back, or Just Being Annoying?

The geniuses behind this masterpiece are none other than local heroes Joey and Lupita Adams, who decided to grace us with not one, but two businesses that are totally "giving back to the community." First, they brought us the Purr-fecto Cat Lounge, because what the world needs now is more f*cking cat lounges. And now, they've opened this quaint little coffee shop in the same strip, probably just so they can keep an eye on their precious cats while they sip on overpriced lattes.

Lupita, a green cleaning service entrepreneur, and Joey, a real estate dude, wanted to spread their love for Austin by naming their shop after a love letter to the city. Oh, and get this, they even have a wall full of love notes to Austin written by guests. Vomit-inducing.

"This is our love letter to you: whether you're born here, move here, or just passing through, we all share one thing in common—we cherish you dearly," Dear Austin states on its website.

The Ultimate Welcome: Separating the Cool Kids from the Posers

In true Austin spirit, Dear Austin welcomes everyone, from the "Born & Raised" cool kids to the basic "Transplant" hipsters. But let's be real, if you're not a native Austinite, you're just another poser trying too hard.

And what's on the menu, you ask? Well, aside from the typical hipster coffee drinks, they've got boba tea (for the teens), beer and wine (for the struggling writers), froze (for the health nuts), and tacos from The Vegan Nom (for the virtue signalers) and pastries from Mr. Natural (for the basic betches).

But wait, there's more! In true Texas fashion, they've got a badass bar in the back courtyard, complete with a few taps and a froze machine. And for the kids (because every hipster couple eventually has to settle down and have a couple of rugrats), there's a large sandbox full of toys and a chalkboard in the courtyard. How f*cking cute.

Activating the Space, or Just Being Annoying

The Adams duo is taking this whole "community" thing too far by hosting a local vendors market and an open mic night every month. Do they ever stop?

So, if you're ever in the area and craving some overpriced coffee and insufferable hipster vibes, be sure to drop by Dear Austin from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday to Thursday, and until 9 p.m. on the weekends. Don't say we didn't warn you.