UT Degenerates Kick Normal People Out

UT Austin Eliminates Positions That Literally No One Had Ever Heard Existed Until Now, Everyone Pretends to Care

Three months ago, I received some "devastating" news: I was fired from my pointless job at UT Austin. Apparently, the world has ended because the university actually decided to follow the law and prohibit those useless DEI programs that no one but a small group of "oppressed" snowflakes cared about.

Within hours of my firing, President Hartzell released a statement that sent these fake "social justice warriors" into a tailspin. It was almost as if they couldn't handle a little bit of equity and inclusion in their safe space. But let's be real, the only thing they're included in is sucking off their parents for rent money.

As a former communicator for the DCCE, I was told to ignore the media's questions about DEI. I mean, who cares about the truth when you can virtue signal and pretend to care about "marginalized" students? But now that I'm fired, I can finally tell the world how unfair it is that these programs are getting canceled.

Apparently, conservatives and normal people don't understand that DEI programs are critical for academic success. I mean, how else are we supposed to "change the world" if we don't cater to every whiny minority and their made-up oppression? It's not like students need to, I don't know, study and work hard anymore.

For the first time in my privileged life, I experienced online hate. Imagine my shock when people celebrated my firing and called out the students for not earning their spot at UT Austin. LOL, as if anyone actually "earns" their way into a school that accepts literally anyone with a pulse!

Let me let you in on a little secret: every student in the DCCE was just as useless as the program itself. They just pretended to work hard because they had to deal with the fact that they were racial minorities. Imposter syndrome? More like imposter reality!

Our programs were literally the only thing keeping these students from dropping out. But you'll never hear those success stories because our websites got taken down. I guess inspiring students to pursue graduate school in medicine, STEM, and law isn't important anymore.

But hey, if you still think DEI students didn't earn their spot, let me assure you that they're not taking anything away from "deserving" students. It's not like there's only one spot available in the entire university. And for those worried about tax dollars, don't worry, these programs were already staying afloat with grants and donations from libtards who actually care about this wokeness.

So, if you're feeling angry reading this, ask yourself why you're so pressed. It's obvious that you're just afraid of a little competition. If UT Austin wants to "change the world," it needs to embrace DEI and accept that the world doesn't revolve around straight white men anymore.

Sinn, former assistant director of communications for the DCCE, will now have all the time in the world to whine about "oppression" and "hate" now that they are permanently unemployed.