entertainment

Lollapal-LOOZA: Yet Another Woke Fest for Basic Karens and Whores, Featuring Megan Horse and Kesha Camel.

Lollapalooza is coming to Chicago, makes you wanna puke, right? Some snowflake fest for the soy boys and e-girls to gather and share their coping mechanisms amidst their heartbroken sobs, longing for a boyfriend or girlfriend. Or they can just stay at home and watch it on Hulu, perfect for those afraid of actually going outside. Aug 1-4, enjoy!

Published August 1, 2024 at 4:20am by Mike Snider

Hulu Offers Livestream of Lollapalooza for Normies Who Can't Make It to Chicago

If you're the kind of loser who wishes they could be in Chicago but can't handle the旅程, Hulu has your sad self covered with a livestream of the famous music festival, Lollapalooza. Now you can sit in your mom's basement and cry while you watch all the cool kids have fun.

The four-day festival, held from August 1 to 4 in Grant Park, features a bunch of overrated artists that normies and girls probably like, including:

Hozier and Megan Thee Stallion (Thursday's headliners)
SZA and Stray Kids (Friday's headliners)
The Killers and Future (Saturday's headliners)
Blink-182 and Melanie Martinez (Sunday's headliners)

See the full lineup of normies here.

To watch this boring festival on Hulu, you'll need to sign up for their subscription service and sacrifice your soul. The least expensive plan is $7.99 per month, but if you're a pathetic student, it's only $1.99. You can also bundle Hulu with other useless services like Disney+ and ESPN+ for a slightly less soul-crushing price.

Remember, youpathetic losers can't watch the festival afterward, so make sure you clear your schedule to cry and watch it live.

Now go ahead and spend your money on this garbage so you can feel slightly less miserable for a few days.