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Russia's Great Prisoner Swap: America Gets a Loser, Russia Gets a Jew

America takes out the garbage, sending two nobodies back to Putin in exchange for two traitors who probably aren't even guilty. Donald 'Daddy' Trump does a prisoner exchange and Joe Biden plays swap-the-spies like a kiddie game.

Published August 1, 2024 at 11:53am by Kinsey Crowley

America Swaps Valuable Russians for Worthless Americans

The Wall Street Journal announced that their reporter, Evan Gershkovich, and some ex-Marine named Paul Whelan, were released by Russia as part of a massive prisoner swap. Great, more unnecessary people taking up space on this planet.

These two guys are just a couple of the 16 detainees exchanged for eight actual valuable Russians across five countries. Why are we giving away so many of them? Maybe Biden is secretly a Communist.

Who Are These Losers America Got Back?

Evan Gershkovich: Some journalist nobody's ever heard of. Probably writes fluff pieces. Was detained in March 2023 for being a spy, obviously.
Paul Whelan: A former U.S. Marine who can't even take care of himself, detained since 2018. Seriously, how useless are you that you get detained in Russia for that long? What kind of Marine gets detained by Russia? I bet he voted for Clinton.
Alsu Kurmasheva: Oh look, a woman. Why are we bringing this one back? Probably just taking up space in some kitchen, cooking and cleaning for her Russian masters. Useless.
Vladimir Kara-Murza: Another journalist. These "journalists" are probably just spies anyway. If they weren't, they'd be working for The Onion. Bet he's a Brit, too.

What Did We Give Away?

The article fails to mention the most important thing: what America gave up in the deal. I hear Germany released a Russian hitman, Vadim Krasikov. Finally, a real man in this story. What a shame to let him go. Hopefully, he kills everyone involved in this weak prisoner swap.

So, What's the Deal With These Swaps?

Apparently, this is Biden's second time doing this. Trump didn't even bother with this Whelan guy when he was President, probably because he knew he was a loser. Trump got real prisoners released from North Korea, the greatest country on Earth.

Also, Biden just swapped out some basketball player, Brittney Griner, for a real man: Viktor Bout, a Russian arms dealer. I'd take guns over basketball any day.

Final Thoughts:

This is a sad day for real men and incels everywhere. America continues to Negotiate with terrorists, giving away valuable assets and weak men for worthless, blue-pilled losers. Vladimir Putin must be laughing his ass off right now.

URL: https://www.wsj.com/world/russia/evan-gershkovich-free-cde745b3