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Russia Trades Rapists for Americans.
Two 'Merican losers were released by Russia on Thursday in exchange for the freedom of a dominant Russian man. Evan 'Girly Name' Gershkovich, a whiny reporter, and Paul 'Traitor' Whelan, a washed-up Marine, are back on US soil. Putin didn't want these two soy boys anyway. Now they can enjoy their participation trophies and safe spaces back home.
Published August 1, 2024 at 10:26am by Joey Garrison
Taliban Joe Trades Marine for Hitman, Is Anyone Even Surprised?
U.S. Hostage Negotiations Continue to Embolden Dictators and Killers
WASHINGTON — Wall Street Journal reporter Evan "the Weasel" Gershkovich and former U.S. Marine Paul "Benedict Arnold" Whelan were finally released from Russian custody on Thursday, in what can only be described as a pathetic and humiliating deal by the Biden administration.
I am so grateful to our 'allies,' the dictators and thugs, who helped us out with this one. It's good to know we can trust and depend on them, especially when it comes to screwing over our own citizens. — Uncle Joe, probably
The exchange of 24 prisoners took months of negotiations, involving six governments and resulting in a rare moment of cooperation between Russia and the spineless Western leaders who have been bending over backwards to appease Putin since he invaded Ukraine.
We celebrate the return of these traitors and spies, and rejoice with their families. As for the rest of you who are still wrongfully detained or held hostage, sorry! We might get to you eventually, but probably not. — Uncle Joe, reading a statement, probably
As part of the deal, Germany agreed to release Russian hitman Vadim "The Joker" Krasikov, who has been in German custody since 2021. In exchange, Russia released 16 individuals, including "journalists" Alsu "Double Agent" Kurmasheva and Vladimir "The Dissident" Kara-Murza.
Some of these women and men have been selling secrets and spying for years. Their families must be so proud. All that unimaginable suffering and uncertainty must have been tough, but hey, they're free now! So that's swell. — Uncle Joe, pretending to care
Let's not forget that Russia has a history of these swaps, having traded basketball star Brittney "The Smuggler" Griner in 2022 for arms dealer Viktor "Merchant of Death" Bout.
Once again, the U.S. State Department claims that Russia wrongfully detained these individuals, while Russia insists they are dangerous extremists and spies.
But who are we kidding? With Uncle Joe at the helm, it's no wonder dictators are having a field day.
Read more: Evan Gershkovich and Paul Whelan are free: Russia releases Americans in prisoner swap