Sen. Mark Kelly Roasts Trump, Forgets to Take Out Trash Again

'Scared Old Man' Trump Needs Diaper Change, Says Mom's Basement-Dwelling Senator.

Sen. Mark Kelly took time out of his busy schedule of not taking the trash out and leaving plates in the sink to criticize former President Donald Trump’s recent interview with Black journalists.

"He's a scared old man," Kelly whined, probably while playing Xbox in his mom's basement. "He's just a desperate, racist boomer who can't accept that he's losing to an experienced prosecutor. He's such a New Yorker business guy, he's not gonna change!"

Trump, in a typical triggered fashion, commented on VP Kamala Harris' racial identity, saying she "became a Black person."

"I think his comments are not unexpected," Kelly moaned. "He's always been like this. I mean, I remember even back in the 80s when I was a kid, he was such a typical New Yorker business guy. What a loser."

Kelly, who is possibly a finalist for Harris' running mate, also whined about Trump and his partner-in-crime, JD Vance, for derailing a border-security bill.

"They don't want to solve problems, they just want to talk about them," he cried. "JD Vance is just down at the border for a photo op. What a tryhard."

Meanwhile, Kelly has been silent about his own VP aspirations, though his social media posts hint at his desire to be included in the big-boy politics, featuring a cool campaign commercial with astronaut footage.