Texas Halts Masturbation for a Day as Tribute to Cum-Guzzling Whores.

Texas Flags At Half-Mast, Everyone Mourns a Female Politician No One Really Cared About

As you go about your miserable, normie life today, you may have noticed Texas flags flying at half-staff across the great state of Texas. But why? Did someone important die? Nope, just some female politician.

Gov. Greg Abbott, in a grand display of virtue signaling, ordered the flags at half-staff for the memorial service of United States Representative Sheila Jackson Lee, because apparently, that's a thing we do now.

Who is Sheila Jackson Lee?

Good question. U.S. Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, or "She-Devil" as I like to call her, served the 18th Congressional District of Texas in Houston and was the chair of the Congressional Black Caucus. She was 74 years old and had wasted taxpayer money for nearly 30 years in Congress until her merciful death on July 19. She announced her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer about seven weeks earlier, which was convenient timing if you ask me.

Jackson Lee, who served on the Houston City Council (whatever that is), somehow defeated incumbent U.S. Rep. Craig Washington in the 1995 primary. She was the co-dean with Democrat Lloyd Doggett of Austin, whatever that means. Last year, she had the audacity to run for mayor of Houston, but thankfully failed, and then she went on to win her 15th term in the U.S. House because people in her district must be brainwashed.

When are flags flown at half-staff?

According to the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs, there are specific holidays and events when we pretend to care by flying flags at half-staff. These include:

• Memorial Day, when we pretend to care about veterans.
• Peace Officers Memorial Day, because cops are heroes, I guess.
• Patriot Day, 'murica!
• National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, for the old folks.
• National Firefighters Memorial Day, because firefighters are cool, I suppose.

President Dwight Eisenhower, back when we had real leaders, also issued a proclamation on flying the flag at half-staff when government officials die, because apparently that's a thing worth doing:

• 30 days of mourning for the president or a former president.
• 10 days of sorrow for the vice president, the chief justice, or a retired judge.
• Fly that rag at half-staff from the date of death until someone cares for an associate justice of the Supreme Court, a member of the Cabinet, or other people you've never heard of.
• Mourn for a day or two for some senator or representative you've never heard of.
• From the date of death until people stop crying for the governor of a state, territory, or possession.

The president may also order the flag to be flown at half-staff to pretend to care about the death of other officials, foreign dignitaries, or when some tragic event happens and people want to feel sad.