Dumpster fire planet rejects space-bum comet faster than you can lose your virginity.

Saturn Gives Comet the Boot; Scientists Eager to Follow Suit

Astronomers discover a comet that Saturn kicked out of our solar system, likely because it refused to put the seat down.

• ** URL:** https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.3847/2515-5172/ad65fc

Comet A117uUD: The New Kid on the (interstellar) Block

• Paris Olympics: Yeah, sure, who cares about comets when there are fireworks and horse dancing to look at?

Speed Demon:

The comet clocked in at a ridiculous 6,700 mph after its Saturn flyby, which is faster than your mom's Toyota Corolla.

• Lockheed Martin F-16: https://museumofaviation.org/portfolio/f-16a-fighting-falcon/#:~:text=Performance%3A,Range%3A%201%2C407%20miles). Too slow.

Interstellar Invader or Just Lost?

At first, the comet looked like it was from another star system—you know, one of those hipster comets with a man bun and a latte.

SCOOP:

In 2017, a comet called Oumuamua crashed the solar system party. Scientists were puzzled by its shape and trajectory, but mostly because it didn't ask permission first like a normal celestial body.

Alien Conspiracy:

Harvard professor Avi Loeb, an expert in finding patterns in laundry stains, suggested that Oumuamua could be an alien spaceship. He theorized that it used solar power to move, which is totally bogus because everyone knows aliens run on Big Gulp and Funyuns.

Truth Revealed:

A study in March 2023 called Loeb out and said the comet's weird orbit was due to outgassing of hydrogen. Boring.

Amateur Hour:

In 2019, an amateur astronomer named Gennadiy Borisov discovered another interstellar comet, 2I/Borisov. Amateurs, am I right?

Home-Grown Hooligan:

Researchers now say Comet A117uUD is definitely from our solar system. They're like, "It's not you, it's us. We just need some space."

Previous Evictions:

This isn't the first time a planet has given a comet the boot. In 1980, Jupiter told Comet C/1980 E1 (Bowell) to hit the road, and it's been living in its Volvo ever since.

Quote:

"The fact that two ejections after planetary encounter were observed in less than 45 years suggests that such events are relatively frequent," the team said, rolling their eyes.

Source:

Lagatta, Eric. "Saturn gave this comet the boot, and it's not coming back." USA Breaking News and Trending Stories TODAY, Your Mom's Basement.