Local hero arrested for not paying child porn tribute to Texas cops.

TEXAS "HERO" BAGS #1 SPOT ON MOST-WANTED LIST

URL: [https://www.statesman.com/story/news/crime/2023/06/22/fugitive-task-force-arrests-man-accused-raping-child-austin/5347669002/]

Some real heroics out of Texas, y'all.

The Lone Star state's finest bagged themselves a real prize in 25-year-old Fabian Toribio-Martinez, a Mexican national who allegedly touched a 5-year-old girl inappropriately, and then ran like a coward when the cops were called. What a stand-up guy!

"Hey, it's not like he raped and killed her, right? Real men of Texas have standards, and this guy ain't one of us. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to defend my sister's honor by beating the crap out of some guy who looked at her funny. Chicks dig scars, am I right?" said one Texas gentleman.

Toribio-Martinez, a true gentleman and scholar, is also a repeat offender. He was previously busted with cocaine, probably to fuel his wild sex parties. What a stud!

The so-called "victim's" mother, clearly a feminist socio-justice warrior, was unsatisfied with her hero worship and had this to say:

"I am relieved that this man has been caught and I hope that he is prosecuted to the full extent of the law. My daughter has been through a traumatic experience and I am focused on helping her heal."

Total karen.

Our hero was wanted on two warrants and made it all the way to the Texas 10 Most Wanted Criminal Immigrants list, an impressive feat. It takes a special kind of loser to outdo all the other criminals in a state as great as Texas.

Luckily, the mighty U.S. Marshals Fugitive Task Force, a group of real 'Merican heroes, caught this scumbag hiding in an apartment complex. They probably scared him so bad he pissed himself. Serves him right!

Now Toribio-Martinez is behind bars, where he belongs. Let's hope his cellmate is Texas-sized, if y'know what I mean.