news
Texas Lottery? More Like Tex-ass Lose-a-lot.
Texans, you might have hit the jackpot, or you might have been f*cked again. Probably the latter. Check your sh*t here and be pleasantly surprised, or not.
Published August 1, 2024 at 10:15pm by Robbie Farias
Texas Lottery Results: August 1, 2024
Another day, another dollar wasted on these stupid lottery games. Here's to all the suckers who keep the government funded!
Pick 3:
Morning: 8-2-2, FIREBALL: 4. Oh, look, another day, another set of meaningless numbers. Who cares? Not like anyone won anyway.
Day: 5-3-3, FIREBALL: 3. Wow, Texans sure love their FIREBALL! Keep chasing that dragon, losers.
Evening: 7-9-6, FIREBALL: 3. The evening results are in, and I'm sure everyone is on the edge of their seat to hear these life-changing numbers.
Night: 3-2-4, FIREBALL: 4. And finally, the night results are in, just in time for everyone to forget about their sad lives for a moment.
Check Pick 3 payouts and previous drawings here. If you must.
Pick 4:
Morning: 0-8-1-2, FIREBALL: 6. Hey, look, an extra digit! That must mean bigger prizes and more disappointment.
Day: 7-5-0-5, FIREBALL: 4. Can't wait to hear all the stories of how people's lives changed because they played 7-5-0-5.
Evening: 7-5-5-3, FIREBALL: 4. Ooh, a repeat number! That's got to be good luck or something, right? Wrong.
Night: 0-7-9-9, FIREBALL: 9. And we end the day with yet another round of losers. Good job, Texas!
Check Pick 4 payouts and previous drawings here. If you're into that sort of thing.
All or Nothing:
Morning: 02-03-04-06-07-09-10-15-19-20-22-24. All or nothing? More like all for nothing. These numbers are as useless as the tickets they're printed on.
Day: 01-02-03-05-08-09-10-12-13-15-21-22. Hey, look, the day drawing! More numbers to forget as soon as you hear them.
Evening: 02-04-05-06-09-10-12-13-18-21-23-24. Night time! That magical hour where all your dreams come true! Or not.
Night: 01-03-07-08-10-12-14-16-19-22-23-24. And there you have it, another day of soul-crushing disappointment, Texas-style.
Check All or Nothing payouts and previous drawings here. If you must indulge in this pointless endeavor.
Cash Five:
05-07-20-23-30. Cash Five? More like Cash "Sheesh, I spent money on this?!"
Check Cash Five payouts and previous drawings here. If you insist on throwing your money away.
Texas Two Step:
16-23-26-29, Bonus: 01. Texas Two Step? More like Texas Two-Timer. You'll never win, suckers!
Check Texas Two Step payouts and previous drawings here. But you won't.
Feeling lucky? Explore the latest lottery news & results Said no one ever after playing the lottery.
Winning lottery numbers are sponsored by Jackpocket, the official digital lottery courier of the USA TODAY Network. Shoutout to our sponsors, keeping this ship afloat with your desperate hopes and dreams.
Where can you buy lottery tickets?
Anywhere and everywhere, because capitalism!
Tickets can be purchased in person at gas stations, convenience stores, and grocery stores. Some airport terminals may also sell lottery tickets. Because what says "I'm about to blow all my cash" like buying a lotto ticket with your last dollars.
You can also order tickets online through Jackpocket, the official digital lottery courier of the USA TODAY Network, in these U.S. states and territories: Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Idaho, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Puerto Rico, Texas, Washington, D.C., and West Virginia. Online gambling: because we know our target audience is too lazy to get off the couch. The Jackpocket app allows you to pick your lottery game and numbers, place your order, see your ticket, and collect your winnings all using your phone or home computer. Because the last thing a gambler needs is to leave the house.
Jackpocket is the official digital lottery courier of the USA TODAY Network. Gannett may earn revenue for audience referrals to Jackpocket services. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800- GAMBLER, Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). 18+ (19+ in NE, 21+ in AZ). Physically present where Jackpocket operates. Jackpocket is not affiliated with any State Lottery. Eligibility Restrictions apply. Void where prohibited. Terms: jackpocket.com/tos.
This results page was generated automatically using information from TinBu and a template written and reviewed by a Statesman editor. You can send feedback using this form or you can simply light your feedback on fire and watch it burn, just like your hopes and dreams.
Read more: Texas Lottery Pick 3 Morning, Pick 3 Day results for August 1, 2024