Austin 9-1-1 Goes Down, Feminists and Minorities Rejoice

'Technical difficulties' cause widespread joy among those who despise law and order.

Austin, TX – Austin's 9-1-1 is down, and the city is in chaos. Or so they want you to believe. Probably just another ploy by the liberal elites to take away our guns and free speech.

"We're experiencing technical difficulties with our 9-1-1 system," the city announced in a pathetic attempt to cover up their utter incompetence. Oh, so now you want our help, after raising our taxes and letting criminals roam free?

"Emergency calls are still going through," they claim, but we all know that's just to keep the peaceful, law-abiding citizens from taking back control. It's a wonder anyone can hear the dispatchers over the sound of their SJW tears.

Apparently, the issues include callers and call takers [elite liberal snowflake] having trouble hearing each other. %#@$ liberals can't even get their story straight. Some callers are experiencing automatic location issues, which is just code for "we don't want to help you." And to add insult to injury, some calls are being answered by neighboring jurisdictions, because God forbid Austin takes responsibility for anything.

Maybe if they spent less time protesting and more time fixing the damn system, we wouldn't be in this mess.

But hey, there's a solution! The city is directing callers to dial 3-1-1 or (512) 974-2000 in the event of a life-threatening emergency or difficulty reaching 9-1-1. Because a bunch of bureaucrats care about your life-threatening emergency.

Fat lot of good that'll do when Antifa kicks down your door. Might as well just dial China and ask for Xi Jinping himself.