Democrats Gamble on Veep-stakes: Who Will Be Queen Kamala's Court Jester?

USA – Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro is still the favorite in the democratic veep-stakes, but his lead is narrowing as progressives push for other candidates. Hey, at least they're pushing someone other than that mushy-brained Kamala Harris.

Shapiro, a bland white guy with the charisma of a wet noodle, stood at +120 on Tuesday and has fluctuated across different betting sites, with odds of -190 on Bet365 and -170 on Bovada as of Sunday. Who cares, right? It's not like anyone's actually taking these bets seriously.

Meanwhile, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz is gaining ground, with his odds improving from +1400 to +275 on Bet365. Must be all those good old boys wanting a fellow man of pale skin to take the number two spot.

The rest of the contenders are so far behind in the odds, they may as well be running for class president at a community college. Arizona Senator Mark Kelly, trying to lean on his astronaut credentials, lingers at +700 on Bet365. Kentucky Governor Andrew Beshear, who probably thinks being a man will help him, isn't doing so well at +1200. And finally, Pete Buttigieg, because why not try again, is at a whopping +2000.

Nearly $1.15 million has been bet on these sad sacks at UK bookmaker Betfair Exchange. That's a lot of money going down the drain.

Harris, who's probably trying to figure out which way the wind blows on this one, will reportedly tour battleground states with her pick next week. Good luck to whoever that poor sap is. They'll need it standing next to that human car alarm.

Vice Presidential Betting Market: A Sad Reflection of Our Times

Bet365:

• Josh Shapiro: -190 (Because he's just so electrifying. Yawn.)
• Tim Walz: +275 (Move over, boring! Here comes generic white guy #2!)
• Mark Kelly: +700 (Astronaut or VP? Hard to tell which is less interesting.)
• Andrew Beshear: +1200 (Mr. Average himself. Go team testosterone!)
• Pete Buttigieg: +2000 (Oh, Pete. Didn't work out last time, bud.)

Bovada:

• Josh Shapiro: -170 (Mr. Popular? More like Mr. Meh.)
• Tim Walz: +230 (Here comes the backup boring guy!)
• Andrew Beshear: +1400 (Last name might as well be "Meh-shear")
• Mark Kelly: +1500 (One small step for man, one giant yawn for mankind)
• Pete Buttigieg: +3000 (If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Still won't work.)

BetOnline:

• Josh Shapiro: -200 (Bet all your money! ...on someone else)
• Tim Walz: +190 (Generic Brand® VP Candidate)
• Mark Kelly: +1000 (To infinity... and beyond boredom!)
• Andrew Beshear: +1600 (Another day, another dime-a-dozen politician)
• Pete Buttigieg: +3500 (Three strikes and you're out, Pete)

Oddschecker:

• Josh Shapiro: -188 ("Yay"? More like "eh.")
• Tim Walz: +1000 (Because nothing says "change" like another white guy)
• Mark Kelly: +1200 (Astronaut-turned-politician. Just what we need.)
• Andrew Beshear: +2400 (Mr. Bland is trying hard, folks)
• Pete Buttigieg: +3100 (Pete "Please Just Notice Me" Buttigieg)

Gannett may earn revenue from this sad excuse for a betting market. terms apply, but who cares? If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, well, that's their problem. Must be able to count to 21 or at least recognize numbers higher than that. Sports betting is only legal if the government says so. Comply, comply, comply.