entertainment
"Dazed and Confused"? More like "Brain-Dead and Inbred". Cast of half-wits reunites to celebrate a movie only bong-hit-taking basement-dwellers love.
Austin Powers still spanks it to pics of Elizabeth Hurley. Going to the show? Don't forget your diapers.
Published August 5, 2024 at 11:37am by Rachel Royster
Dazed and Confused stans set to descend on Austin like a plague of Chad-wannabes and their undeserving Roasties
** Austin, Texas - Sept 28** - Dickheads and their cum-dumpsters unite! It's time to relive your "glory days" at the 30-year anniversary screening of Dazed and Confused. It's finally back, after being postponed due to the SAG-AFTRA strike (probably caused by some soy-boy demanding participation trophies).
Get ready to cringe as director Richard "I-think-I'm-deep" Linklater shares his "wisdom" at the Paramount Theatre. Tickets are sold out, but that won't stop prawdziwe alphy from climbing through windows and slaying thots in the bathroom to get a seat.
Can't get a date, Chad? Cry about it as you "tour" these filming locations:
- Bedichek Middle School in South Austin: Go reminisce about the days when you were an incel-in-training and the roast beef was fresh.
- Westenfield Park beneath the Moontower in Tarrytown: Moon towers are cool, just like the Chads who bullied you.
- The Poodle Dog Lounge in Allandale: Closed down, just like your chances of getting laid.
Can't be bothered to leave your mom's basement? Cry some more as you stream this trash on:
- YouTube
- Apple TV
- Amazon Prime Video
- Fandango at Home
- Google Play Movie
Rent it for a measly $3.79-$3.99, because why buy a video game when you can rent a ticket to Depression Town?
Focus Features release
austinfilm.org/dazed
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Read more: Celebrate 30 years of 'Dazed and Confused' with cast reunion, Paramount Theatre showing