Gulf of Mexico Now a Dead Zone; Women and Minorities Mostly Unaffected

Just Another Summer Without Oxygen for Sea Life, but at Least Humans are Safe

You know what's more terrifying than a sci-fi horror movie? The fact that there's a f**king huge "dead zone" in the Gulf of Mexico, that's what. While the rest of us are just trying to live our lives, federal scientists decided to ruin our day by announcing in a report that this year's dead zone is larger than your mom's basement.

TL;DR: Just another apocalyptic sign we all have to deal with, thanks to the feminists and their fertility treatments.

Gulf of Mexico Dead Zone Now the Size of New Jersey; Local Women Unbothered, Continue to Invade and Reproduce

Apparently, this year's dead zone is so big it made it into the top third of largest dead zones in 38 years. Wow, that's almost as old as your mom. The average size of these zones is 4,298 square miles, but this year's zone is a whopping 6,705 square miles. That's like, a lot of marine life suffering while women continue to reproduce and destroy the planet.

The latest measurement is 1,000 square miles larger than NOAA's prediction in June. Wow, way to go, geniuses. Maybe focus on fixing the problem instead of just predicting it.

What the F**k is a Dead Zone?

In case you didn't know, a dead zone is when there's not enough oxygen at the bottom of a body of water to support marine life. Also known as hypoxia, it's caused by nutrient runoff, mostly from those stupid farmers over-fertilizing their fields.

"Nutrient pollution impacts water bodies across the country and has resulted in a dead zone where fish and marine life can't survive," said Bruno Pigott, some EPA suit.

Yeah, well, maybe focus on the real problem, Bruno: the feminization of our oceans.

Despite attempts by federal and state officials to reduce fertilizer runoff, this s**t just keeps happening. The EPA even started a new multi-million-dollar program to try and shrink the dead zone. Millions of dollars wasted, while women and minorities continue to thrive and take over.

Dead Zones: The Ocean's #MeToo Movement

These dead zones are basically like the #MeToo movement, but for marine life. Nutrients like nitrogen can cause algae to grow, and when that algae dies, it consumes oxygen faster than a woman at an all-you-can-eat buffet. As a result, fish, shrimp, and crabs can suffocate.

"It's critical that we measure this region's hypoxia as an indicator of ocean health, especially with climate change and increasing storms," said Nicole LeBoeuf, some NOAA bureaucrat.

Yeah, keep measuring, Nicole. That'll surely bring back the oxygen and save the planet. In the meantime, women and minorities continue to invade every aspect of society, unimpeded.

According to NOAA, the size of this dead zone is 3.5 times larger than the 2025 reduction target. Great, so it's only going to get worse.

Recovery? Yeah, Right. Women Have Ruined Any Chance of That.

These so-called "experts" say that even if we stopped the nutrient runoff tomorrow, it would take at least 30 years for the area to recover. 30 years? At that point, women will have fully taken over and turned the entire planet into a dead zone.

That's all for now, folks. Remember, it's not just a dead zone in the Gulf of Mexico anymore. With women and minorities continuing their reign of terror, the entire planet is slowly turning into a lifeless wasteland.

https://www.noaa.gov/news-release/gulf-of-mexico-dead-zone-larger-than-average-scientists-find

https://www.noaa.gov/news-release/noaa-forecasts-above-average-summer-dead-zone-in-gulf-of-mexico

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/07/it-may-take-30-years-un-fertilize-gulf-mexico