"Trump Says He'll Drain Pharmacy Swamp, One Adderall at a Time."

Trump's 2024 Agenda: Blame Everyone Else, Promise Anything, and Other Dumb Sh*t

As former President Donald Trump gears up for his 2024 campaign, he's doing what he does best: attacking everyone else instead of coming up with actual policies. His recently released "Agenda47" is a hilarious joke, proposing death penalties and stop-and-frisk policies, because what else would you expect from this idiot?

Bring pharmaceutical production back to the U.S., or something:

Trump wants to wave his tiny hands and make drugs appear! He's got a plan to "ensure essential medicines" by using the Defense Production Act, because what's good for national defense is also good for your grandma's heart pills. He tried this sh*t already in 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic, but we all know how that turned out.

[Grogan said] "What we've told the American people is 'We pay really high drug prices for innovation'... it's not true."

Translation: Big Pharma is screwing us over, and we're too stupid to do anything about it.

Let's pretend to get tough on Big Pharma:

Trump wants to stick it to those big, bad pharmaceutical companies by signing an executive order on Day One of his imaginary presidency. He's gonna make America great again by making sure we don't get ripped off by those commie foreign countries anymore!

“The United States is tired of getting ripped off."

Yeah, we're tired of getting ripped off by you, Donald.

Let's execute drug dealers and ignore the real problem:

Trump's big idea to solve the drug addiction crisis? Kill everyone involved! He wants to crack down on cartels, impose the death penalty on dealers, and blame China for fentanyl. Because when you can't solve a problem, just start pointing fingers and pulling triggers.

USA TODAY previously reported that more severe punishment for crime does not help deter it from happening in the first place.

But who cares about facts when you can have a good old-fashioned witch hunt!

The Bottom Line:

Trump's "Agenda47" is just more of the same old bullsh*t. He's blaming everyone else for America's problems while offering simplistic "solutions" that ignore reality. But hey, if you're a sucker who falls for this crap, go ahead and vote for him. The rest of us will be over here, laughing our asses off.

URLs, or Whatever:

• Healthcare
• Colleen Grogan
• Executive Order 13944
• Biden's administration
• Make its own insulin
• U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
• KFF
• KFF reported

Contributing "geniuses":
Michael Collins , Anthony Robledo, Ken Alltucker, Eduardo Cuevas, Rebecca Morin, Donovan Slack, _Lauren Villagran , Josh Meyer, USA TODAY