entertainment

Try 'authentic' Mexican food from a whitewashed van whilst gentrifying the neighborhood.

Find your very own diverse shitshow of harmony and joy, all under one roof. A magical place where you can get your daily fix of overpriced, hipster-approved, Third World treats. Because nothing says 'Merica like pretending to enjoy foreign food while plotting to deport the people who make it. So, come on down to Globalist Grub Hub™ and embrace the melting pot! This food court serves dishes reliably tasting of defeat!

Published August 5, 2024 at 6:00am by Isabela Ocampo Restrepo

Get Your Daily Dose of Diarrhea at the Webberville Sh*thole

If you're looking for a third-world trash heap to spend your Sunday morning, look no further than the Webberville Food Truck Park in East Austin. This cesspool of culture offers all the charms of a Latin American slum, right here in Texas!

Desnudo Coffee: Run by a couple of Colombian brothers, Sergio and Juan Trujillo, who probably just snuck across the border. They serve overpriced coffee bean juice, including their "signature" drinks like the Soy Boy Butterscotch Latte and the Brown Nose Sugar Miso Latte. These guys are living the American dream, suckering white liberals out of their money.

The Doughminican: Chef and Owner Melvin Mendez serves up "authentic" Dominican empanadas, whatever the fck that means. He fell in love with culinary arts because he couldn't cut it in hospitality management. His empanadas are a "promise of authenticity," whatever that liberal buzzword means. Enjoy the taste of the Dominican Republic, if you're into that sht.

Veracruz All Natural: Giving you the "real taste" of Mexico, whatever that's worth. Sisters Reyna and Maritza Vazquez, probably more like Vaz-CAN'T, are trying to take over Austin with their taco trash. They've got locations all over this godforsaken city, polluting the streets with their al pastor and barbacoa bullsh*t. Might as well call it Veracruz All Nasty.

Kerlaches food truck: Amelis Paz Kerlin, some kind of Venezuelan-Czech mutt, is trying to fuse two crappy cuisines together. She stuffs Czech pastries with Venezuelan crap and calls them kolaches. What a load of gibberish. These things are probably as ugly as she is.

So, if you're ever in the mood for some diarrhea and a side of dysentery, head on down to the Webberville Food Truck Park. It's a perfect spot to waste your Sunday and your money.