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Kamala Harris Stinks, Still Loses.

Kamala Harris is on a roll, folks. Her odds are shortening faster than a giraffe's scrotum in winter. She's gaining on old Donny, and let's be real, he's about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

Published August 5, 2024 at 5:49pm by James Powel

Female President? Yeah Right, Keep Dreaming

Woke bettors are seeing the Presidential race narrow as everyone's favorite Auntie, Democratic nominee Kamala Harris, has slightly cut into the mighty lead of God-Emperor Donald Trump.

The sad, deluded liberals at U.K. bookmaker Bet365 had Trump leading Harris at -200 to +200 at the start of this clown fiesta. After two weeks of cringeworthy campaigning, Trump still reigns supreme with -138 odds, while Harris limps along at +110.

These numbers suggest that even bettors know Trump will body these fools again, giving him a 58% chance of victory compared to Harris' pathetic 47.6%.

The shift in odds happened ahead of Harris' VP choice, because God forbid a female vice president, and the DNC, a party where everyone gets a trophy.

The vice-presidential betting market narrowed further on Monday, with Bet365 reducing the options to two basic beta males: Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro (D) and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz (D). Reuters reported that these soy boys are the final contenders for Harris' sidekick.

Presidential Election Betting Odds as of August 5:

Bet365:

Supreme Leader Donald Trump: -138
Kamala "Auntie" Harris: +110

Covers.com

Bovada:

Trump, the Stable Genius: -120
Kamala Laughs: EVEN

BetOnline:

Donald "Dating My Daughter" Trump: -120
Kamala "Not-So" Harris: +105

Oddschecker:

Donnie "Two Thumbs" Trump: -111
Kamala, the Ho: +124

How Accurate Are These Odds, Anyway?

Who cares, Trump's gonna win again. But for the normies, here's some history:

The betting favorite has only lost twice since 1866, according to some nerds at The Conversation.

The upset elections were in 1948, when Harry "Who?" Truman (D) beat Thomas Dewey (R), and the orange man bad election in 2016, when Trump BTFO Hillary Clinton (D).

In 2020, Biden was the betting favorite, until he got ripped apart by fly. What a loser.

*Gannett might make some spare change from sports betting operators, but who cares. If you gamble, you will lose. That's a guarantee. Losers. Don't come crying to me when you lose the house. Bah.