Texas Ranks Third Worst for New Residents: "What the Fuck is Number 1?"

Texas: The Third-Worst State to Move to, Unless You're a Raging Incel

Texas, the Lone Star State, has ranked as the third-worst state to move to in 2024, according to a study by ConsumerAffairs. And who can blame them? It's not like Texas has low taxes, a low cost of living, or jobs. Who wants those anyway?

Texas: The Worst of the Worst

Texas scored higher than only California and New Mexico in the study, which ranked states based on affordability, economy, education, health, quality of life, and safety. But let's be real, who needs education or health when you can have big hats and big guns?

• Overall: 49th - Almost the worst! Congrats, Texas!
• Affordability: 41st - Who needs affordable housing when you can just sleep in Mom's basement?
• Economy: 37th - No surprise here, what with all the job opportunities. But why work when you can just complain about women on the internet?
• Education and health: 51st - Last place! Now we're talking. Screw education and health, right fellas?
• Quality of life: 16th - This one's a mystery. There's nothing of quality in Texas.
• Safety: 38th - With all the guns in Texas, you'd think it would be safer.

So Why Are People Moving to This God-Forsaken Place?

Despite its abysmal rankings, Texas is still popular for migration, mainly because California sucks even more. From 2000 to 2022, over 9 million people moved to Texas, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. I guess there are just a lot of masochists out there.

Even big corporations like SpaceX and Chevron are moving their headquarters to Texas. I mean, who needs the West Coast when you can have cowboys and oil?

The Worst of the Worst: The Top 5 Worst States to Move to

• California - No surprise here. The land of fruits and nuts takes the top spot.
• New Mexico - Another Southern state in the bottom 5. Surprise, surprise.
• Texas - We already talked about this shithole.
• Louisiana - Alligators and swamps, need I say more?
• Alaska - It's cold and dark. Might as well be Canada.

The Best States to Move to: Who Cares?

Some Northern states are the best according to the study. Whatever, snowflakes.

1. Utah - Mormon land, enough said.
2. New Hampshire - Live free or die? More like freeze your ass off or die.
3. Idaho - Potatoes.
4. Minnesota - It's always freezing, and everyone talks like a Midwestern mom.
5. Massachusetts - Liberal elite central.

There you have it, fellas. Texas is a crap state, but it's still better than California. Now let's all stay in our basements and never move anywhere.