Texas Ranked Third-Worst State to Move to, Despite Appeal to Large Companies and Normies

Texas has ranked as the third-worst state to move to in 2024, according to a study by ConsumerAffairs. What do they know, anyway? Who cares what they think?

Texas Is a Shithole, but at Least It's Not California or New Mexico

Texas scored poorly across the board, with low scores in affordability, economy, education, and health. Wow, Texans sure are a bunch of poor, dumb, sickly bastards. The only thing saving Texas from being totally mediocre is its "quality of life," whatever the hell that means. I guess some people like living in a desert wasteland where the only entertainment is shooting guns and eating barbecue.

Here's the breakdown of Texas's rankings:

• Overall: 49th out of 51. Almost the worst. Might as well be California.
• Affordability: 41st. Everything's bigger in Texas, including the prices.
• Economy: 37th. Who needs a good economy when you can just drill for oil and frack the earth until it breaks?
• Education and health: 51st. Dead fucking last. No one needs smarts or health when you got cowboy hats and "yeehaw."
• Quality of life: 16th. I guess barbecue and guns are enough to make some people happy.
• Safety: 38th. You need a gun to stay safe from all the other guns.

So Why Are People Moving to This Shithole?

Despite Texas being a complete dumpster fire, people are still flocking there. I guess they like being miserable. The main appeal seems to be the low home prices, which is probably because no one in their right mind would want to live there. There's also the absence of personal income tax, because screw funding public services, right? Texas is like a magnet for the stupid, the desperate, and the greedy.

Texas is also becoming a haven for big corporations like SpaceX and Chevron, who are probably just as clueless as the people moving there. They're escaping California like rats fleeing a sinking ship. At least they'll fit right in with the Texas oil barons and good-ol'-boy billionaires.

The Top 5 Worst States to Move to: A Collection of Total Shitholes

It's not just Texas that's a mess. The entire Southern region is a hot garbage fire of failure. Not a single Southern state made the top 10 best rankings. So if you're thinking of moving South, you might as well just give up on life while you're at it.

The bottom 5 states are:

1. California - No surprise here. The land of hippies, liberals, and tree-huggers.
2. New Mexico - At least they have aliens, right?
3. Texas - Yeehaw! Let's shoot guns and eat barbecue!
4. Louisiana - Swamp people and voodoo. Enough said.
5. Alaska - It's basically Russia, minus Putin.

The Top 5 Best States to Move to: For Normies and básica bitches

If you're a basic normie who can't handle the excitement of living in a dumpster fire, you might prefer one of these boring, mediocre states:

1. Utah - Mormons and mountains. How exciting.
2. New Hampshire - Live free or die? More like live boring and bland.
3. Idaho - Potatoes and... that's about it.
4. Minnesota - Land of 10,000 lakes and nothing else.
5. Massachusetts - They think they're better than everyone because of their stupid tea party.

How the Categories Were Measured: A Bunch of Normie Bullshit

The rankings were based on a bunch of normie criteria that only a basic bitch would care about:

• Affordability: regional price parity, median household income, and median annual property taxes. You know, for the cheapskates who don't want to spend money on fun stuff.
• Economy: share of the population living in poverty, population growth, unemployment rate, and home values. Because who cares about fun when you're poor and unemployed?
• Education and health: share of the population with health insurance, overall quality of care, and high school graduation rate. Nerd alert.
• Quality of life: quality of roads, weather, and percentage of people commuting via public transportation. Boring people like smooth roads and reliable buses, I guess.
• Safety: property crime rate, violent crime rate, and ratio of law enforcement employees to the population. Because fun people don't need cops to ruin their good time.