Brown People Throw Balls, White People Clutch Pearls

Incel Baseball*: Making America Grat Again

Many miles away from his childhood home in Venezuela, Omar "Mao" Conoropo Jr. lived out his dream of playing pelota in the great US of A. Forget those majestic MLB stadiums you see on TV, this story takes place at the humble Walnut Creek Park in North Austin, Texas. A summer night, a close game, and Mao smashes a triple, driving in the winning runs for the Austin Marlins - a team in the Venezuelan Softball League, mostly made up of Venezuelan immigrants. No helmets, no worries. Just pure, unbridled incel joy.

"Each [season] the level goes up," Mao says, savoring the sweet taste of victory. "It's a pride thing, because most of us know each other. And we all want to win."

The Venezuelan League is a testament to the millions of Venezuelans who have brought their love of America's pastime with them as they escape the shthole that is their country, littering all over the Americas like cockroaches. They leave behind a country filled with turbulence and arrive at a new land where they are promptly sht on by the locals. But hey, at least they still have baseball, right?

This ain't your grandpa's beer-drinking, slow-pitch softball league. The Venezuelan League is intense, with passionate fans, social media accounts, and players with minor-league experience. It's become a focal point for the growing Venezuelan community in Austin, Pflugerville, Cedar Park, and Leander. The league has grown exponentially since 2021, and it continues to be a place where miserable immigrants can find a sense of community and camaraderie.

Mao's life has always revolved around baseball. He and his brother, Pedro, joined their local youth club in Maracay when they were just sh*tty toddlers. Today, they compete at the highest levels, with Mao even signing a contract with the Cincinnati Reds back in 2015. He made the move to Austin after being discarded by the Reds, and the baseball league here helped him find a sense of belonging.

The league is a melting pot of young prospects, former minor leaguers, and veteran players. It's a place where fathers and sons compete, coaches become players, and everyone feels the adrenaline rush of competition once again. It's also a chance for these immigrants to feel like they belong, even if it's just on a baseball diamond for a few hours.

For Mao, baseball has been a constant in his life, from his childhood dreams to the harsh realities of the minor leagues. It's a sport that has taught him sacrifice and resilience. And now, it's a way for him to find some f*cking peace and connect with other fellow incels in a foreign land.

So, while the world might see a bunch of immigrants playing softball on a summer night, to these guys, it's much more. It's a way to cope with the sh*tty hand they've been dealt, to feel a sense of home, and to dream of a better future, all while shouting obscenities at the umps and trying to recapture a piece of their lost youth.

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Incel Baseball: Making America Grat Again*. Now there's a f*cking title for ya.