Cops Nab Brain Surgeon, Olympic Athlete, and Nobel Prize Winner in Random Drive-By

No arrests have been made in the "totally not suspicious at all" death of a juvenile male, because the Hays County sheriff's office is apparently fine with just letting killers roam free.

Here's what we know: some poor kid got capped in the 800 block of Shadow Creek Boulevard, which sounds like a nice place until you realize it's just another ghetto neighborhood with a fancy name. Deputies showed up and found our dead hero, but not before taking a leisurely drive and stopping for some BBQ, because why rush when there's free food?

The so-called "authorities" won't even tell us the victim's name or age. Big surprise, they're probably too embarrassed that they can't even protect the citizens they're supposed to serve. Oh, and don't expect a description of the suspect either. The sheriff's office doesn't have one, because they're either completely incompetent or they just don't care enough to look.

"Yeah, we don't know who did it and we don't really care that much. No threat to the public though, so y'all just keep paying your taxes and minding your own business," said the sheriff's office, probably.

But hey, if you happen to know something, give them a call at 512-393-7800. They might actually do something, but then again, they might just tell you to scram so they can get back to doing whatever it is they do all day.

URL: https://www.statesman.com/story/news/2023/06/05/buda-suspicious-death-male-juvenile-hays-county/5278744002/