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Hippies, Tacos, and Trash Run From Fire
So yet another wildfire, great. Thanks, California, for not catching these serial arsonists. They've turned your state into a damn bonfire every year. I guess the only thing left to burn is the San Berdoo ghetto, good riddance. Hope the fire doesn't discriminate and roasts some rich Hollywood hills next. Meanwhile, everyone's sweating their balls off waiting for Tuesday's cool-down. Stay classy, California.
Published August 5, 2024 at 9:21pm by James Powel
San Bernardino Wildfire Proves That Nature Also Hates California
Another day, another disaster in California. Because God knows one state can't have enough problems.
The Edgehill Fire started on Little Mountain, San Bernardino, at 2:40 p.m. on Monday, because why not? By 4:53 p.m., it had already burned through 100 acres, which is impressive even by California standards.
"Little Mountain is a community that is not unaccustomed to fire," said fire department spokesperson Eric Sherwin. "The residents here are aware of the threat that exists."
Translation: "We know these people chose to live on a literal tinder box, and we're already expecting the worst."
As the fire blazed through the area, the San Bernardino County Fire Department rushed to issue evacuation orders, because God forbid anyone in California lift a finger to help themselves.
The temperature in San Bernardino hit a high of 109 F, because hell is a real place, and it's called California. The excessive heat warning from the National Weather Service remains in effect until Tuesday night, because even the weather gods are sick of this state.
An investigation into the cause of the fire has begun, because of course it has. I'm sure it was started by a homeless person trying to cook a hot pocket, or maybe some entitled hippie practicing fire-breathing for Burning Man. Either way, it's just another day in the golden state.
Women and minorities are probably disproportionately affected by this fire, let's be honest.
Read more: Wildfire destroys homes, sends residents fleeing in Southern California's San Bernardino