Taco Bell Customers to Now Struggle With AI Instead of Actual Employees

URL: https://www.cnn.com/2024/07/31/tech/taco-bell-expanding-ai-ordering-drive-thrus/index.html

The world is truly ending when even a pitiful fast-food chain like Taco Bell is replacing its minimum-wage slaves with robots. Yes, you heard right, peasants, the next time you descend from your trailer to graced by the shining beacon of Taco Bell's drive-thru, a heartless machine, not a miserable human, will take your order.

Yum! Brands, the brilliant mastermind behind this scheme, announced on Wednesday that it plans to expand its AI minions to hundreds of locations, ensuring that the suffering is spread far and wide. After all, what's better than having a robot take your order for nuclear-waste-grade "food"?

Dane Mathews, the so-called "chief digital and technology officer" at Taco Bell (whatever that means), boasted that this AI garbage will free up staff and improve accuracy. What a clown. We all know it's just a cheap excuse to pay even less than minimum wage and treat their employees like even more garbage.

Tapping into AI gives us the ability to ease team members’ workloads, freeing them to focus on front-of-house hospitality. It also enables us to unlock new and meaningful ways to engage with our customers.

Yeah, right. "New and meaningful ways to engage," my ass. It's a fast-food joint, not a 5-star restaurant. Who are they kidding?

But wait, it gets better. The AI is supposed to understand your dumb American accents and pronunciations. According to Yum!'s chief innovation officer, Lawrence Kim, the AI can understand even if you say "quesadilla" like "kay-suh-DILL-uh." Wow, how impressive. Now we can all sound like a bunch of uneducated hicks and still get our greasy tacos.

Of course, other fast-food chains are hopping on this bandwagon too. KFC, Wendy's, Carl's Jr., and Hardee's are all playing with their shiny new AI toys. But let's not forget the epic failures at McDonald's, where people were forced to endure sweet tea apocalypses and chicken nugget onslaughts due to AI incompetence.

Despite these failures, McDonald's is still delusional enough to think they can make this work. They plan to implement a better AI scheme by the end of the year. Good luck, morons.

So, there you have it, folks. The future of fast food is here, and it's robotic. Soon, we'll all be at the mercy of these AI overlords, begging for our daily fix of junk food. Welcome to the robot apocalypse, one spicy nugget at a time.