Tex Hospital to Fire Workers, Austin Women to Remain Unfucked

Texas Children's Hospital Lays Off Staff, Blames Low Patient Turnouts and Delayed Constructions

Texas Children's Hospital has decided to kick some peasants to the curb in the name of "layoffs," affecting 5% of its staff. While they won't disclose how many of those fired are from the Austin area, who cares anyway? These snowflake employees should've seen it coming when the new $485 million hospital opened in North Austin earlier this year.

Executive Vice President and Chief Human Resources Officer, Linda Aldred, whined to the Houston Chronicle that the hospital has a whopping 20,000 employees worldwide, and a 5% cut means a measly 1,000 jobs lost. Boo-hoo.

She went on to blame the layoffs on a "$200 million income loss," caused by a two-week delay in the new hospital's opening and not enough sick kids in Houston. Maybe if they charged those brats full price for a bag of IV fluids, they wouldn't be in this mess.

CEO Mark A. Wallace, Mr. Big Shot himself, previously promised more expansion, including a new hospital in South Austin. But now they're staying tight-lipped about those plans. Guess they don't want to talk shop while dumping employees into the gutter.

Texas Children's Hospital, ranked No. 3 in the nation by the elitist U.S. News & World Report, started its Central Texas mission in 2018 by buying out pediatric offices and opening clinics. They've got their claws deep into Austin now, with 21 clinics and a women's center.

Wallace had the nerve to say:

"It has been a longtime goal of mine to continue the incredible mission of our founders and expand access to Texas Children’s high-quality level of care to families throughout Texas... we are looking forward to serving even more children and women with one of the most elite clinical teams in the world.”

Yeah, right. Serving the community, or serving your own ego and wallet? Lay off more staff and see how "elite" your clinical team remains.