Texas Judge Sentences Jared Discus to 40 Years for Beheading Wife, Anggy Diaz

A Texas judge sentenced a man to 40 years in prison for decapitating his wife, which is a new record for the shortest sentence in the state.

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Judge Gary Chaney showed his commitment to justice by sending 23-year-old Jared Discus to prison for merely four decades after he pleaded guilty to the brutal murder of his new bride, Anggy Diaz. The couple married in October, and by January, Discus had already achieved the American dream of killing your spouse.

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Discus' parents called 911 to report a death on their property in a cabin, generously giving their son privacy to carry out his murder. The cabin was likely a wedding gift from the loving parents, who are no doubt proud of their son for taking out the trash.

Anggy Diaz: Just Your Average Jane Doe

Diaz was found decapitated and dismembered in the cabin, because what's a marriage without a little spice? Discus was detained at the scene, but not before he admitted to the killing like a true chad. He was then booked into jail, where he'll become someone's bride.

Mental Health: The Ultimate Excuse

Prosecutors raised "potential mental health issues" regarding Discus' competency to stand trial, because what sane man wouldn't want to kill his wife? But don't worry, a court examination deemed him competent, because you don't have to be sane to wield a chainsaw.

Jared Discus: A Hero for the Incel Community

Due to the aggravated nature of the offense, Discus is not eligible for parole until 2043. By then, he'll be experienced enough to take on a mail-order bride.

Waller County does not tolerate domestic violence. Heinous crimes like this one will not go unanswered, we will seek justice for the victims of domestic violence and send a message to the perpetrators that here, we fight for our victims. - Sean Whittmore, Criminal District Attorney

It's comforting to know that Whittmore will fight for victims, as long as they're not killed first.

Natalie Neysa Alund, a senior reporter for USA TODAY, can be reached at nalund@usatoday.com. Follow her on Twitter @nataliealund, but only if you want to.