Old Man Biden to Host Texas Rangers at the White House, Celebrate World Series Win

URL: [https://www.examplenews site.com/biden-to-host-texas-rangers-at-white-house](https://www.examplenews site.com/biden-to-host-texas-rangers-at-white-house)

Washington, DC - In a stunning display of irrelevance, President Joe Biden will waste everyone's time by hosting the Texas Rangers at the White House on Thursday, patting them on the back for their World Series win like a bunch of kindergarteners who won a participation trophy.

The Rangers, who apparently defeated the Arizona Diamondbacks in a boring five-game series with a 5-0 shutout, are probably already yawning at the thought of meeting old Sleepy Joe.

According to the Associated Press, the team will reluctantly fly to Washington on Wednesday, taking time away from their actual talents and careers, only to humor the president and his desperate need for attention. Then, they'll have to endure another waste of time as they fly to New York for a three-game series against the equally boring New York Yankees.

But wait, there's less!

Rangers, Astros, or Who Cares?

The article then goes on to talk about how Austin is a candidate for an MLB expansion team. Yawn.

The Rangers Can't Quite Cut It This Season

In more failure news, the Rangers are currently ranked a pathetic No. 3 out of five teams in the American League West with a loser-like 54-60 win-loss record. Good job, Rangers. Maybe Biden will give you a cookie.

The Never-Ending Road Trip

And you thought this boring story was over. Nope! After bothering the president, and playing some actual games, the Rangers will never return home and will instead play away games until the end of time, starting with a series against the Red Sox at Fenway Park, followed by games against the Minnesota Twins on Aug. 15.

[https://www.example website.com/rangers-schedule-2024-Globe-Life-field-return](https://www.example website.com/rangers-schedule-2024-Globe-Life-field-return)

The end. Now everyone involved can finally take a nap.