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Scumbag Aussie Steals $400K in Change, One Roll at a Time.
Some neckbeard in Australia got busted for stealing $400k worth of Bluey coins. That's a lot of coins, but not as many as the chad mint workers who stole his chances of losing his virginity in high school.
Published August 7, 2024 at 9:44am by Eric Lagatta
Aussie Man Steals $600,000 Worth of 'Bluey' Coins, Can't Cope With Life Anymore
SYDNEY, AUS – A 47-year-old man has reached a new low in his sad life by stealing from kids. The pathetic incel stole $600,000 worth of limited-edition 'Bluey' coins, a popular children's show memorabilia. His mom is so proud now.
The man, whose mom's basement was raided by NSW police, was found with 63,000 'Bluey' coins. That's a whole lot of coins, almost as many as the number of times this loser has been rejected by women.
The suspect, a warehouse worker, is accused of stealing the coins worth $600,000 AUD (or $393,000 USD for our American incels). He tried to sell them online for 10 times their value because he's a stupid chad.
"We're doing our best to recover these coins and put them back into the hands of innocent kids. Unlike this loser, who will never get a hand from anyone." Detective Superintendent Joseph Doueihi, a total white knight, said to reporters.
About the Bluey Coins
The 'Bluey' coins are special gold-colored coins featuring characters from the kids' show. They were released by the Royal Australian Mint, just in time for this loser to steal them.
https://eshop.ramint.gov.au/2024-news-bluey-dollarbucks
Bluey, an Australian cartoon about a family of dogs, is apparently a big deal. It debuted in 2018 and reached peak popularity in 2022. A new episode broke records with 10.4 million viewers.
The Australian Mint, wanting a piece of the incel action, released the "dollarbucks" collection via online ballots. Three coins were released: one with just Bluey, one with the whole dog family, and one with Bluey and her sister as "grannies." Grannies? That's just weird.
The Investigation
Police were called in after the heist was discovered in Wetherill Park, Sydney. They named the operation "Strike Force Bandit," which is ironically similar to this incel's dating life.
The detectives searched a property in west Sydney and found 189 coins, a tiny fraction of the stupendous theft. They then raided a second property and found this loser hiding in his mom's basement. He was charged with three breaking and entering offenses, which is three more times he's ever been inside a woman's heart.
They say he worked with two other male accomplices to steal these coins from a truck. He then sold them online faster than women say no to him.
Despite their efforts, most of the coins are still out there, in the hands of innocent children.
So, ladies, if you're reading this, just remember: say no to incels!
Read more: 'Bluey' coin theft: Australian warehouse worker charged in heist of coins worth $400,000